Summer is almost here.
I can't believe my 'little' girl, Lina
(Angelina), will be taking Driver's Education this summer... yikes!
Fortunately, she's learning to drive with our second car, my old Toyota
Camry which is in great condition, but still 18 years old... perfect for my
young, new driver. :-)
The years have certainly flown by and I
remember this picture taken of me, my dad and Lina like it was yesterday.
I feel incredibly blessed that Lina and I have always had a very close,
loving relationship we continue to have to this day. I think part of this
comes from the fact that I've learned how to be 'present' when I'm with
her... meaning when she talks, I listen and she has my full, undivided
attention.
I have not always been successful at this in the past, but
it's what I strive for now.
It's also what I strive for in my other
relationships, and I can tell you doing this one thing alone can create
magic in your relationships.
One of my greatest mentors that I
currently work with, Eben Pagan, says one of the biggest things we can do to
transform our lives, both personally and professionally, is to stop
multi-tasking and just focus on one thing at a time. Whether that's one
project we're working on or one person we're talking to, just giving that
one thing or person your undivided attention will bring about miraculous
changes.
As a die-hard former
multi-tasker, I can tell you from personal experience he's absolutely right.
In honor of my mentor's advice to me, my article this week will give you
some great ideas on how to start creating those miraculous changes in your
relationships once you stop multi-tasking. :-)
Until then, I wish you
a week filled with beautiful, life-transforming moments...
With love, light and blessings,
Dawn Allen, CDC, CPTF
Dating & Relationship Coach for single, smart, successful women
Founder of Inspired Heart Coaching
"When
you're ready to attract the love of your life... "
"Are You Multi-tasking Your Relationships Away?"
I spent years as an exceptionally
proficient multi-tasker. Rarely would I actually stop long enough
to focus on one thing or one person at a time.
My
inability to slow
down, took its toll on my
relationships. I could never relax, because I was
always doing so many things at once and consequently never enjoyed any
of them.
My daughter never felt like I listened to her because I
never gave her my full, undivided attention when she talked to me.
I was always doing at least two things at once.
One
of the ways
we can improve our
relationships is to
learn how to
give our undivided
attention to the
person we're with.
Studies have shown repeatedly it is counter-productive to multi-task and
it actually undermines our efficiency. Even more important is what
it does to our relationships. It's difficult for anyone in our
lives to feel our love if we're always distracted.
I have been blessed to work
with some great teachers and mentors in my career who have not only
modeled this skill for me, but taught it to me as well. One of my
dearest teachers was Janet Bray Attwood, co-author of "The Passion
Test."
The first time I met Janet, along with her co-author and
former husband Chris Attwood, was when I took the Passion Test
Certification Training. I spent four days with Janet and Chris
learning the Passion Test and the work of Byron Katie.
The first
thing that impressed me about Janet, besides her incredible loving
energy, was when she first walked in from the back of the room, she made
her way to each person, in every row, standing in front of them,
introducing herself, and shaking their hand.
One of Janet's favorite sayings is
"The
most important person
in the world
is the one standing
in front of you right now." If you are standing in front
of Janet, she makes you feel like the most important person in the world
to her.
I learned from Janet how to be present and appreciate
the person you're with right now. I learned the value of making
other people feel important from another celebrity as well.
Years ago, when I worked in Los Angeles, the
Academy Award winning actor, Sidney Poitier was one of my clients.
The first time I met Sidney, I was amazed at his ability to make
everyone else in the room feel more important than he was. He was
the epitome of charm and graciousness. If you were with Sidney one
on one, he made you feel like there was no place else he'd rather be
than standing right there talking to you.
When I finally learned
how to start being present with what I was doing and who I was with,
everything in my life improved, especially my relationships. My
partner, my family, and my friends all felt more loved, appreciated, and
respected.
Each moment
spent with another
person is sacred. If
we're too distracted, we'll miss the most meaningful moments in our
lives. Once those moments are gone, they're gone forever.
Instead, what if we
gave our undivided
attention to the
person standing in
front of us
right now? What if we treated them like
the most important person in the world?
How would it make them
feel? How would it make you feel? How would it transform you
relationships? How would it transform your life?
Your Assignment: Take one day and do
just one thing at a time. If you are talking with someone, stop
doing everything else and give them your undivided attention. If
you have multiple tasks to do, commit to doing just one thing at a time.
You are worth
every moment of
your life. Don't
let them pass
you by.
"Life
is all memory, except
for the one
present moment that
goes by you so
quickly you hardly
catch it going." --
Tennessee Williams
I wish for you as many magical moments as you can take in this week. And if
you'd like some support in
creating magic in your life, I'm happy to help you on the journey.
Copyright 2010 Dawn
Allen
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR
E-ZINE OR WEBSITE? You can, as long as you include this
complete blurb with it: Dawn Allen, CDC, CPTF, is a Dating &
Relationship Coach and founder of Inspired Heart Coaching™.
Dawn specializes in helping single women to attract love of
their lives and create the deep, magical and loving relationship
of their dreams. To learn more about Dawn, visit www.inspiredheartcoaching.com and receive her exclusive, new
report, "4 Secrets to Finding Your Soul Mate", when you
subscribe to her Ezine, or email her at dawn@inspiredheartcoaching.com.
Testimonials
"Dear Dawn, I cannot thank you enough for helping me to get
over the last hurdle in manifesting my soul mate! During our
very first session you pinpointed exactly what was blocking
his arrival, and after only a few sessions with you, I was
able to resolve the 'block' and be ready for my soul mate! I
am so glad that I heeded the 'signs' I was receiving to seek a
life coach, and that I worked with you, Dawn. Your intuition
and perceptiveness are priceless. I am sure it is because of
the guidance I got from you that my soul mate is NOW with me!!
Thank you so very much!!! Much love, Lynn"
-Lynn
Fletcher, Pennsylvania
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