Meet and Marry Mr. Right- Finally Find and Keep the Right Man For You Once and For All- Dawn Allen, Dating and Relationship Advice Expert for Women

How to Date, Relate & Mate With the Man of Your Dreams

Learn How To Effortlessly Attract The Man Of Your Dreams And Finally Have The Relationship You've Always Wanted...

A Step-by-Step Program on How to Date, Relate and Mate With the Man of Your Dreams...

If you're starting over after a painful break-up, frustrated with dating, tired of being alone and ready to succeed in love and finally find the Right Man for you once and for all, then read on...

Are you tired of spending yet another Saturday night alone?

Are you frustrated with the whole dating game?

Does it feel like love is eluding you and you just can't understand why?

I’ve been there too. 

Do any of these sound like you?

• You know what you want; you’re visualizing and doing affirmations, but the right one still hasn’t shown up?

• Meeting and attracting a partner feels overwhelming because you’ve been out of circulation for a while?

• You can’t figure out why every time someone is interested in you, you don’t feel the connection with him, yet when you meet someone you really like, either they’re not interested in you, or they’re completely wrong for you?

• You want to attract your soul mate, without having to work hard at finding him, or forcing yourself to do activities you’re uncomfortable with like online matchmaking, dating service, singles groups, etc.?

• You’re in an age group or live in an area where it’s just not that easy to find your ideal partner?

Having been through the dating scene more than once, I can tell you I understand exactly how you feel.  After experiencing all the highs and lows of dating, there is an easier way to attract a partner.

After years of struggling in my own failed relationships time and time again, I was finally able to learn what it takes to attract a wonderful man and create a passionate, romantic, loving relationship.  But I spent a lot of years of emotionally turbulent and painful hit-and-miss when it came to dating and love.

 I had so little self-esteem and self-worth from some of my childhood experiences that I had practically no boundaries at all when it came to relationships in my life.

I attracted a lot of men who were controlling and sometimes abusive. 

But even though I wanted desperately to change my patterns of attracting the wrong kind of relationships, I just didn't know how to do things differently with men.

Until one day when I finally just got sick and tired of not having a healthy, fulfilling love life.

 I made it my mission to learn everything I could about men, attraction, dating, relating, sex and relationship.  I attended seminars, read every book I could get my hands on and studied with as many experts and mentors as I possibly could.

As I put into practice what I learned, I started seeing positive results in my relationships with men.

I started attracting men who treated me wonderfully... who were generous, kind and loving.  Who made me feel totally cherished and appreciated.

It was like I had learned the secret to opening the flood gates of love in my life and all of a sudden there was an abundance of wonderful men walking through them!

And now, I've got the relationship I've always dreamed about having with an absolutely amazing man.

And if I can do it - I KNOW you can do it too. 

I've refined what I learned and created a system to help you attract the love of your life.

I want to teach you HOW to do what I did - to actually easily attract a man who loves and appreciates you so you can HAVE the relationship you've always dreamed about - but without all the pain I had to endure to create it!

• What if you were able to breakthrough everything that's been holding you back... without years of therapy, without more years of dating all the wrong men instead of the RIGHT man and having fun in the process?

• What if you could finally find the affectionate, romantic, loving, passionate and intimate relationship you've always wanted with a man?

• Imagine what your life would be like if you had a partner to share it with... all the ups and downs, day-to-day challenges, having that special person to wake up next to and KNOW he was going to be there for you in every way.

I would love to show you how, step-by-step in detail, how you can finally turn your love life around once and for all.

I would love to teach you all the secrets and insights I've learned so you don't have to struggle with men anymore.

Finding love is possible at any age, IF you're willing to learn what it takes to have a successful relationship.  It starts with what you believe is possible.

If you can begin to believe that not only is the man of your dreams out there, but that he's also looking for you, you'll see the process of love and attraction start to unfold right before your eyes.

YOU deserve the best... a wonderful partner, a wonderful relationship and a wonderful life. 

Let me help you get started today finding the love of your life.

If you’re ready, here’s what you’ll learn in this step-by-step program:

=>  The most important steps you can take towards attracting the right man for a relationship and have him want to have a long-term relationship with you

=>  How to let go of fear and negative thoughts that have been holding you back from finding love

=>  Identify exactly what you want in a partner and how to attract it

=>  How to heal your limiting beliefs and uncover any hidden challenges that might be sabotaging your success with men

=>  How to release past loves so you can declutter your heart & be open to the RIGHT man for you

=>  Simple steps to help you date, relate and connect with men easily so you can find the man of your dreams and THE secret to having him understand you

 

By the time you finish this program, you will be well on your way to attracting a soul mate, if you haven’t already found one.  You’ll have the confidence and powerful tools to draw your ideal relationship into your life.  Best of all, you’ll feel relaxed, sexy, confident and happy.  You’ll become magnetic to the love of your life.  Are you ready to make this your year to attract the love of your life?  Send me an email ([email protected]) and let's talk :-)

Finding Mr. Right Coaching Session

     Have you ever made goals and

intentions for yourself at the beginning

of the year only to realize half way

through the year you're no closer to

the goals and intentions you set than

you were 6 months earlier?

 

     Me too.  What made the difference

for me was having someone to keep me

on track towards my goals and to support

me when I started to falter in my belief

that my dreams were possible.

 

    Now that we're at the midpoint

of the year, I've decided to offer

a "Finding Mr. Right" FREE coaching

session to help you stay on track for

finding the love of your life.

 

     And I'm making it available to

EVERYONE... even those of you who have

had free sessions with me in the past!

    

     So, if you’d like to find Mr. Right

today and have that experience of your Prince

Charming...whatever that may be

for you – tall, dark and handsome,

powerful, attractive, sexy, whatever

kind of man you would really love

in your heart-of-hearts to have in

your life... and be able to enjoy

the kind of relationship that you’re

looking for, where you go out to

movies, go on vacations together,

go out to dinner with friends,

spend holidays together and wake up

next to each other on Sunday mornings…

 

     And be there to grow old together.

 

     Then, it all starts with finding the

right guy, finding your Mr. Right so you

can have the relationship you've always

dreamed about...

and I’d like to help you do that.

 

     For a limited time, you can join

me for a very special "Finding Mr. Right

Coaching Session" at ZERO COST.

 

     During this special one-on-one,

45-minute coaching session,

you'll discover…

 

=> The single, most important step

you can take towards attracting the

right man for the kind of relationship

you’d like to have

 

=> Three simple steps to help you

connect and relate to men

 

=> The number one secret to having men

understand you

 

=> The biggest secret that makes a man

ten times more likely to want a long-term

relationship with you

 

=> How to uncover any hidden challenges

that might be sabotaging your success

with men and dating

 

And... you’ll leave the session renewed,

re-energized and inspired to find and

keep a great man once and for all

 

     To claim your special "Finding Mr. Right

Coaching Session" today, simply email me

at [email protected]

and answer these questions:

 

1. What are your biggest fears and

frustrations when it comes to dating

and men?

2. What do you see as your biggest

relationship challenge?

4. What would you most like help with

when it comes to men and dating?

 

     Be sure to include your name, phone

number and email address so someone

from my office can get back to you within

the next 24 to 48 hours to schedule your

one-on-one "Finding Mr. Right Coaching

Session."

 

     Email me today to claim your

session today.

 

Until next time...

 

With love, light and blessings,

 

Dawn

3 Clues to Creating Magic in Your Life

Have you ever had one of those weeks where everything just felt magical?

I had one of those last week. You can read more about it in my article below and what I learned about how to consciously create magic in your life instead of just waiting for it to happen accidentally like I did :-)

I am honored, greatly honored, to now be featured on Arielle Ford's website, SoulMateSecret.com, as a referral coach. I am thrilled beyond belief to have this amazing opportunity and the way it literally dropped into my lap is what inspired my article.

I am proudly offering Arielle's Soul Mate Kit and I received Arielle's permission and support to create a new coaching program around the Soul Mate Kit. I couldn't be more excited!

I'm off today to enjoy some glorious spring weather we're having here in Southern Oregon after weeks of cold and rain... the sun is out and the flowers are blooming.

A very dear and wonderful client from Denmark (Thank you, Tine!) sent me this beautiful photograph as a 'thank you' after a coaching session we had this week.
It reminded me of all the magic that exists in our world that can be so easy to overlook sometimes when I get too busy to stop and appreciate it.

My wish for you this week is that you'll remember to look for all the magic that exists in your beautiful world.

And my every day be filled with an abundance of all the love you so deserve.

Feature Article

"3 Clues to Creating Magic in Your Life"

 

I admit it, I have been working like crazy lately.

Since I really love what I do, that's not hard to do. But I have felt like I have been needing to get away for months and just haven't taken the time.

So when the wonderful friend invited me away for the weekend, I took advantage of it. I completely disengaged, relaxed in a beautiful hotel and enjoyed a fabulous weekend for three lovely days.

I got home feeling completely reenergized.

Creating Magic Clue #1: Taking breaks and getting away can have a profoundly positive effect on your energy!

The week after I got home, I had agreed to an interview with Renee Heimerman for her A Bundle of Joy Teleseminar, but I had inadvertently scheduled it for the wrong day on my calendar. I was completely surprised when the email reminder arrived an hour before the teleclass was scheduled to start!

Thankfully I was able to rearrange my schedule and it ended up being one of the best interviews I've done for a long time (you can listen in if you like by clicking here). I finished the interview feeling so appreciative for being able to do what I do.

Creating Magic Clue #2: Sometimes going with the flow, not resisting what 'is' and trusting what the Universe brings to you, allows even more good to flow to you.
A few hours after my interview, I received a personal email from Arielle Ford, creator of the Soul Mate Kit, and one of my most favorite authors.

Arielle said that one of my clients, Lynn Fletcher (you can read her testimonial below) had shared her story of how she found her soul mate, which she attributed to going through Arielle's Soul Mate Kit and her coaching with me.

Lynn had spoken so highly of her work with me that Arielle asked if I would be a referral coach for her, since she doesn't do any private coaching.

After doing the Snoopy-Happy-Dog-Dance around my house, I wrote back that I'd of course be thrilled and honored. We spoke in person shortly thereafter and she gave me her permission to create an exclusive new coaching program around the Soul Mate Kit.

To say I was thrilled, grateful and appreciative for the opportunity to work with her would be an understatement.

Creating Magic Clue #3: Expressing joy and appreciation for what the Universe brings to you and asking for what you want (I asked if I could create the coaching program) brings even more for you to appreciate.

So here are my 3 tips for you to start creating magic in your life:

1.  Take a break and go do something you love when you're feeling stressed or overwhelmed

2.  Don't resist what happens or what you're feeling, but instead try and shift your perception to trusting that it's exactly what is supposed to be happening for your benefit

3.  Express love, joy and appreciation for as many things, people and events in your life as you possibly can... because the more you do, the more the Universe will bring you even more to love and appreciate

I wish for you as many magical moments as you can take in this week. And if you'd like some support in creating magic in your life, I'm happy to help you on the journey.

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” - Buddha

 

Copyright 2010 Dawn Allen

How to Reinvent Your World...

Have you ever thought about the possibilities of reinventing your world?

George Bernard Shaw once said, “Progress is impossible without change; and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.”

So what if we changed our minds about what’s possible for ourselves and our future?

What if by changing our perception of ‘what is’, we were also able to change our perception of ‘what can be…’

One of the things I love most about working with my clients is that I can hold a bigger vision for them than they can see for themselves.  And by having someone who holds that vision for them, it inspires them to create even more than they ever thought possible.

How cool is that?

And my coaches have done the same for me.

But what I’ve sometimes found is that it is very often my own limiting beliefs about the past that get in the way of creating my future.

Why is that?

Because there is a part of me that thinks I’m still that same person I was in the past and therefore, hindered by the same mistakes I made in the past.

Then one day my mentor, who is a multiple 7-figure coach and I figure knows what the heck she’s talking about, said to me, “You are not the same person today as you were in the past when you made those choices and those decisions and attracted those experiences.  Why would you think that your future would be based on your past?”

Huh… go figure.  I can tell this stuff to my clients all day long, but I still can’t always see it for myself.

And of course, she was right.  I am different.  I have grown.  I have changed.  I make different decisions today because I know more.  And heaven knows, I certainly attract different experiences than I did in the past… because we attract what we are and it’s always congruent with our beliefs about who we are.

So, I made the executive decision that day as the major shareholder in “Dawn Allen, Inc.” to overwrite my old self-image and instead to work with one of my choosing. 

And I would encourage you to do the same.

I decided to expand my beliefs about what’s possible for my future.  Not based on the past.  But instead, based on what I truly desire.  Knowing that God never gives us a dream or desire without the capacity to make it come true.

So what about you?

Is there a difficult situation in your life that has challenged you in the past?

Could you change your perception to view it as having been there to benefit you in some way?

It has been a life-changing decision for me to shift my perception to see every challenge as a means to bringing me greater self-awareness and an opportunity for self-growth.

It has also allowed me to expand my belief of what’s possible for my future.

Now, instead of looking back and seeing myself as powerless or blaming myself (or worse, someone else!) for seeming failure, I have chosen to view those circumstances as benefiting me by helping me to grow, to become more of who I am.

One of my favorite things to tell my clients is it’s not the easy stuff that makes us grow, it’s those difficult, challenging, “Oh-my-gosh-why-is-this-happening-to-me?” moments when we really get to see how strong we are, how capable we are, how much more we can survive than we ever thought possible.

Those are the times that show us who we are and what we’re made of.

And those are the times when we have a choice… we can choose to see ourselves as victims of fate, unable to choose our destinies. 

Or we can chalk it up to being an AFGO (Another Freakin’ Growth Opportunity) in this beautiful mosaic we call life.

But it is a mosaic you get to create and call your own.

Make it one you love.

And make it as brilliant, bright and shining… as you are.

Taking Things Personally? Here's How to Stop... :-)

Okay, I admit it.  I still have times when I struggle to NOT take things personally.

Which means, of course, that, yes, even though I know better, I still have those moments when I DO take things personally.

Ugh.

There’s a wonderful quote from Dr. Patricia Allen, that brings me some reprieve…

“We are all broken in one way or another, and we must learn to accept the broken aspect in order to love.”

Not just in order to love another, but in order to love ourselves too.

I’ve noticed that when I’m feeling frustrated or angry, I tend to start judging myself I start thinking, "I shouldn't feel this way."

But the more I judge myself for what I’m feeling, the more contracted I feel, and the more I shut down.

What we resist persists.

The more I try to force myself into feeling better, the more I try to jump to the nearest distraction to avoid the feeling altogether or I just beat myself up for feeling this way to begin with.

The biggest challenge is letting go of the judgment about what I’m feeling, so…

I decided to try a new tactic.

What if... when I felt contracted, I simply took it as a sign from the Universe that it's a time to take care of myself, to not make any big decisions, and to just allow myself to 'be'?

What if... I accepted what I’m feeling and didn't judge it to be good or bad, right or wrong, but just what 'is' for the moment?

What if… I just gave myself permission to feel what I’m feeling and to just let it be okay?

I discovered something…the emotional relief is immediate.

When I judge and resist what I’m feeling, I never really get the chance to move beyond the feelings, by allowing them to move through me.

I might be able to force them into hiding for awhile, but eventually they start popping up in one form or another...

I get sick, want to eat everything in sight, react to my daughter’s moods, (she’s 15, it’s her job to be moody) go through the day with no energy, and wade through sleepless nights…

So how does all this relate to learning how to NOT take things personally?

Something interesting happened when I learned how to stop judging myself and my feelings…

I learned how to stop judging other people’s feelings and to stop taking them personally… especially my partner’s.

Don’t get me wrong, I still have to remind myself DAILY.

But it gets easier all the time.

And it’s easier to communicate from a place of understanding, rather than my old patterns of shutting down or having a huge emotional reaction.

I’ll leave you with one final quote from two of my favorite teachers, Janet & Chris Attwood…

“When I can be okay with the contraction in myself, I can accept the contraction in people around me.  When I'm okay with both, then my life is simply a life lived in love."

Here's to a life lived in love for you and all those you hold dear.

Give yourself the love and acceptance you so deserve :-)

Until next time,

With all my love,

Dawn

Relationship Fears- Now that my house has burned down...

 There’s wonderful Zen maxim that says, “Now that my house has burned down, I have a much better view of the sky.”

It made me laugh out loud the first time I read it.

Then I started to think about how well it described something that happened not long ago in my relationship with the man I’m involved with.

Our relationship was going along wonderfully.

Then something between us changed.

At the time, I couldn’t really put my finger on what it was.

But I started feeling insecure and fearful.

Looking back, I now see it was because I was becoming very attached to the outcome of our relationship and had some pretty clear expectations.

Even coaches make mistakes. :-)

And, of course, my greatest fear was realized shortly thereafter. 

The man I was involved with stopped calling.  Big surprise.

We attract what we think about and what we’re feeling, good or bad, right or wrong, that’s just the way it is.

Days ticked by and I had no idea what had happened other than it had felt awkward the last time we had seen each other.

I was confused.

Over the next couple of weeks, I did a lot of soul searching, letting go and finally came to a place of peace

about what felt like the end of our relationship.

I eventually sent him a very short email saying I hoped he was well and that perhaps the next time he was out he could drop off the dishes I had given him from the last time I made him dinner.

He emailed me back almost immediately saying not only did he want to deliver my dishes, but he really wanted to talk to me in person, if I was open to it.

I agreed, although I felt slightly nervous about seeing him again after basically no contact for 2 ½ weeks.

I decided to let go of any expectations and let him take the lead with everything.

He came over that same night and as soon I saw him, I completely relaxed, because he was clearly happy to see me.

He took me out for a drink, and we chatted about everything we’d been doing over the last couple of weeks.  Nothing serious.

After he brought me home, he asked if we could talk, because he really wanted to explain what had happened over the last couple of weeks.

For the next hour, he tried to put into words why he hadn’t called me.  He admitted he didn’t really understand why he hadn’t been in touch, because he really enjoyed being with me.

He said things just started to feel different.  He was right.

Our fears and expectations about the relationship were making us both feel uncomfortable and uneasy, we

just didn’t realize it at the time.

He said there was a part of him that felt like he needed to know all the answers about our future, and because he didn’t, he withdrew.

I told him not only did he not need to know all the answers, but that I was happy to just be with him now.

We both relaxed and by letting go of our expectations, we were able to communicate freely with each other.

He mentioned that before what we now refer to as The Break in our relationship, it felt like there was a

sense of urgency.  Very true.

All the unspoken expectations we had and projections about the future not only created a sense of urgency, but brought up all our fears and insecurities as well, mine especially.

But once ‘the house burned down,’ and all the fears were brought to light, we were able to release them so we could have a ‘better view of the sky’ and relax into just enjoying each other and our wonderful relationship now, instead of being so focused on what was or wasn’t going to happen in the future.

I have a new appreciation for him that wasn’t there before.

And even though, I’m more in love with him than I ever was, I’m no longer projecting into the future and trying to figure everything out.

And neither is he.

We are completely happy to be together and allow things to unfold, trusting that fate brought us back together for a reason.

He jokingly says I should advise all my clients to take a 2 ½ week break in their relationships so they can come back together with a renewed appreciation for each other. :-)

Hmmmm.  Maybe.

My wish for you is that your house won’t ever have to burn down in order for you to have a better view of the sky.

Release your fears.

Trust the Universe.

Enjoy the present.

And relax into well-being.

 

Until next time...

With love, light and blessings,

Dawn

Finding Mr. Right Coaching Session

     In honor of the New Year and

to honor those of you in my community,

I'm making a very special limited-

time offer which you can feel free

to take advantage of or pass on to

someone you may know.

    

     If you’d like to find Mr. Right

today and you’d like to have that

experience of your Prince

Charming, whatever that may be

for you – tall, dark and handsome,

powerful, attractive, sexy, whatever

kind of man you would really love

in your heart-of-hearts to have in

your life and be able to enjoy

the kind of relationship that you’re

looking for, where you go out to

movies and go on vacations together

and go out to dinner with your couple

friends and all those great couple

experiences…

 

     Maybe you’ll even want to

get married and have a family...

 

     It all starts with finding the

right guy, finding your Mr. Right

and I’d like to help you do that.

 

     For a limited time, I am offering

a special "Finding Mr. Right Coaching

Session" for ZERO COST.  During

this special 1-on-1 coaching session

we’ll work together to…

 

=> Create a crystal clear vision for the

kind of man that you’d like to attract

and the kind of relationship that you’d

like to have

 

=> We’ll uncover hidden challenges that

may be sabotaging your success with

men and dating

 

=> You’ll leave the session renewed,

re-energized and inspired to find and

keep a great man once and for all

 

     To claim your special "Finding Mr. Right

Coaching Session" today, simply send me

an email and answer these questions:

 

1. How long have you been single?

2. On a scale of zero to 10 how important

is it for you to get in to a relationship

now?

3. What do you see as your biggest

relationship challenges?

4. What would you most like help with

when it comes to men and dating?

 

     Be sure to include your name, phone

number and email address so someone

from my office can get back to you within

the next 24 to 48 hours to schedule your

one-on-one "Finding Mr. Right Coaching

Session."

 

     Send me an email now to claim your

session today.

 

Until next time...

 

With love, light and blessings,

 

Dawn

 

P.S. I can’t wait to hear how great

things are for you once you’ve got

that great man in your life!

Update on Life

Hello dearest Angels,

It's so good to be back with you after an amazing couple of weeks.  Technology is such a great thing... until it stops working. 

Life was going swimmingly along until exactly two weeks ago today, my computer started dying right before my eyes.  Although I was able to save all my information before it died completely, it has been a long, slow process getting back up and running again.

I did a lot of meditating... :-)

We don't always realize how much we rely on so many aspects of technology until we suddenly don't have it!

 I apologize for being absent for so long.  I have missed interacting with you, and thankfully everything is working wonderfully again.

I have to admit, I felt quite wounded these past few weeks, so my article this week is on healing your wounded heart with love.  I have been down the road of heartbreak a few times in my life and have learned the way back is only through love.

If you'd like some support in healing your heart, so you can move forward in finding the love of your life, please send me an email.  I consider it an honor to share the path of healing with my clients, and to support them in every way I can.

I feel truly blessed to have the privilege of working with so many of you.  One of my greatest joys in life is witnessing the transformative changes you so courageously make in your life everyday by showing up to do your "Heart's Work."  Your journeys are what make my life incredibly worthwhile and allow me to stand in my purpose of what I was brought here to do.   It is truly an honor to work with each and every one of you.

Until next week, with an abundance of love and blessings from my heart to yours,

 

 

P.S.  I think we have the most AMAZING readers on the planet!  I'm very excited to welcome all the new subscribers who have just joined our Inspired Heart Community.  Thank you to all of you who continue to read my Ezine each week.  I treasure and cherish each and every one of you.  I hope through my coaching and newsletter you feel like you are stepping into a "Sanctuary for your Heart and Spirit."  I appreciate your support so very much.  Please feel free to share this Ezine with any of your friends and family.

Does Your Heart Need Healing? Here Are 3 Ways to Begin...

A few months ago, I started working with a client who was struggling to pull her life together after her husband left her for another woman.  She was in a great deal of pain and having a difficult time letting go of her anger, jealousy, and resentment.  As we discussed what she could do to start healing, my heart welled with empathy.

Years ago, I was hopelessly in love with a man who left me two separate times to have affairs with much younger women.  The first time, I was devastated.  The second time, I was so angry I never wanted to see him again.  I tried to pretend I didn’t care, but that only deepened my anger and resentment.  I felt insecure, jealous, and filled with self-doubts.

It took me years to heal from that experience and recover my self-esteem.  I learned everything I could on healing and relationships.  Ultimately, it led me to the work I do now because I didn’t want other women to go through the long, painful process I did.

If your heart is hurting, here are three ways to begin healing:

• Focus your energy on yourself.  When we are involved in a painful relationship, all our energy gets directed at trying to make the relationship better.  There’s very little energy left for ourselves.  The biggest mistake we make as women is giving too much of ourselves away.  We try to make everything better for everyone else, but then have nothing left over for ourselves.  Let go of focusing your attention on your partner and his life; bring all of your attention back to your own life. 
• Express your feelings.  In order to start healing, your feelings need to be expressed in a safe place.  Create a “Healing Your Heart” journal and begin writing.  Talk with a coach, therapist, or spiritual counselor to have a safe environment to express your feelings and facilitate your healing process.  Reach out for help and support when you need it.
• Do one small thing every day that makes you feel good and helps you take better care of yourself.  When we are trying to pick up the pieces of our life after a relationship ends, we forget to take care of ourselves.  Yet, it’s the most critical time for us to give ourselves the love and attention we’re no longer receiving from a partner.

A lot of these things may feel impossible to do right now.  I know it did for me, but you can do it.  Get support and give yourself time.  The healing won’t happen overnight, but it will happen.  Be gentle with yourself.  Be patient.  Difficult though it may be to believe, you will heal.

Your Assignment:  Make healing and self-care your biggest priority.

If you have children, it will do them good to see you taking care of yourself.  You are not your best as a mother, if you are unhappy and miserable with your life.  You need to put yourself first.  You need a healthy outlet for your feelings and a safe space to heal your heart.

Look for one small thing to do each day that makes you feel good.  One day at a time, you will see, your life will become one that makes your heart sing again… where all your dreams can come true. 

 

 

Love- Are Your Perceptions Hiding A Gift of Love?

I recently learned a valuable lesson about how our perceptions can lead us to misinterpreting events and profoundly affect our relationships. 

     

Not long ago, a dear friend of mine was away on a trip visiting his parents.  His parents are elderly, so he spends most of his time taking care of them when he’s with them.  His siblings have the caretaking responsibility when he’s not there.  He and his mother love to go shopping when he visits.  On this last trip, he called me when they were shopping for clothes to find out what size I wore.  I was excited to see what he bought. 

After he got home, I didn’t hear from him right away, which initially I didn’t give much thought to.  He had been swamped with work right before he left, and since he’s self-employed, the work doesn’t get done unless he’s home to do it.

As a few days passed, I started to wonder why he hadn’t contacted me.  All kinds of thoughts ran through my head.  Was he upset with me for some reason?  Had I done something wrong?  Trying to figure out all the possible reasons of why he hadn’t yet called just made me feel worse.

I finally mentioned what was happening to my mother and told her how I was feeling.  My brilliant seventy-five year old mother, who is my greatest coach, told me to refocus my attention and energy back on my own life, and let go of wondering what was going on with him. 

My mom reassured me that he’d obviously been thinking about me or he wouldn’t have been buying me clothes while he was away.  She also reminded me how painful it is to visit parents you haven’t seen for months, and see their physical and mental health rapidly declining.  It takes time to regain your emotional equilibrium after such a stressful and challenging trip.

Listening to her talk, I suddenly viewed everything from a completely different perspective.  I felt a huge sense of compassion.  The trips to visit his parents had become increasingly difficult for my friend.  I had not even considered all these other aspects to the story, and the way we interpret events are indeed our stories.

The hurt and rejection I’d been feeling disappeared as I hung up the phone with my mother.  I wrote a short email to my friend letting him know I was thinking about him and hoped he was well.

He contacted me the following day.  He said he’d been working non-stop ever since he got home.  He was still overwhelmed with work, but asked if I’d like to come over that evening, so we could dance and go for a motorcycle ride together.  As soon as I got there, he handed me a present wrapped in green paper with a red bow.  It felt like Christmas.  Neatly folded inside were the clothes he had bought for me while he was away, and some others he had purchased after he came home. 

All the thoughts and feelings I’d had when he first returned from his trip seemed immaterial.  The pain and suffering I’d put myself through were a result of my initial perspective and how I had interpreted not hearing from him.

When I changed my perspective, and was able to see the situation from a different point of view, my interpretation of what happened changed too.  Instead of hurt and anger, my feelings shifted to love and compassion.  That shift opened the door to a positive response from my friend.

When we’re feeling stuck in our pain, it is invaluable to be able to step back from our perceived point of view and see events and circumstances through someone else’s eyes. A negative, painful interpretation can shift to a more loving and positive one simply by changing your perspective.

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Your Assignment:  Take a look how you interpret events and circumstances that happen.  Explore these ideas in a journal, and you’ll gain clarity, objectivity, and perhaps a new perspective on the people and events in your life. 

Seeing events through another person’s eyes is not only a gift to them, but also a loving gift to yourself. You are giving yourself the power of choice to reinterpret painful events, and instead choose to create a life of love for yourself.