Meet and Marry Mr. Right- Finally Find and Keep the Right Man For You Once and For All- Dawn Allen, Dating and Relationship Advice Expert for Women

Love- Healing Your Wounded Heart

"Healing Your Wounded Heart with Love"

 I have a confession.  If you haven't read my bio on my website or blog, you may not know I've been engaged twice and married twice, all to different men.  In addition, my daughter and I were both molested by my former stepfather.

Healing from heartbreak is something I know how to do really, really well. 

I've learned that once you know how to heal your heart, the process is the same, regardless of the circumstances.

Marianne Williamson said, "It is not the love we did not receive in the past that hurts us.  What hurts us is the love we are not extending in the present."

The place to extend that love when you've been heartbroken is to yourself.  It took me a long time to learn how to do this.  My initial way of coping was to distract myself and to bury my feelings.  From the time I was 16 and my stepfather came into my life, I had an eating disorder for the next ten years that did a really good job of distracting me from the pain I was feeling.

When we've been heartbroken, one of the things that prevents our healing is resisting what we're feeling.  In my case, having an eating disorder was a way for me to resist dealing with my painful feelings.

If I had known then, what I know now, and had someone to walk me through the process of healing, I would have saved myself years of anguish. 

It took me a long time to learn how to embrace and accept what I was feeling, no matter how unpleasant.  But once I did, it finally allowed me to gradually move through my feelings and eventually release them.  It didn't happen overnight.

Grieving and healing from heartbreak is a process, but it doesn't have to take years, as it initially did in my case.  If you know the steps, you can recover much more quickly and come out of the process an even stronger and more loving person than you were before.

The first step is to bring yourself to the present moment and allow yourself to feel whatever it is you're feeling.  John Gray wrote a wonderful book called, "What You Feel, You Can Heal."  Feeling is the first step in healing.

Allow all your feelings to come to the surface.  Breathe through them.  If tears come as well, then let them come.  Tears are very cleansing to the soul and they put us in touch with our hearts.  Getting in touch with our hearts is a big part of the healing process, so tears should be welcomed.

The next step is to express your feelings.  Expressing your feelings is critical to your healing.  You need to have a space to release whatever is going on inside of you, without having to be kind, spiritual, or worry about what someone else is going to think of you.

Through the years, my saving grace was expressing my feelings in my journal.  Having the outlet of my journal as a safe place to express all my emotions literally saved my life at times.

Now I have the benefit of a coach as an additional haven for me to express my feelings.  Only recently have I realized how powerful it is to have another person acknowledge and witness my feelings and intentions.  Having that supportive relationship in my life made transitioning through my last divorce, a thousand times easier than my first one twenty years ago.

It is essential to have a way to express all your feelings, whether that's in a journal or by talking to a friend, therapist, or coach.  Until those unexpressed, painful feelings are released, you'll stay stuck.

My grandmother passed away when I was eleven.  It took me ten years to complete the grieving process.  I bottled my sadness up inside me and pretended everything was fine.  It wasn't until I took two dozen sleeping pills on my 17^th birthday as a loud cry for help that I finally broke down.  I started expressing my grief, releasing what had been pent up inside me for years, and at last began to heal.

As you become present and start expressing all the feelings inside you, extend all the love you have to give, towards yourself.  That is where all your healing begins... with a heart full of love for yourself.

"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire Universe, deserve your love and affection." - Buddha

Does Your Heart Need Healing? Here Are 3 Ways to Begin...

A few months ago, I started working with a client who was struggling to pull her life together after her husband left her for another woman.  She was in a great deal of pain and having a difficult time letting go of her anger, jealousy, and resentment.  As we discussed what she could do to start healing, my heart welled with empathy.

Years ago, I was hopelessly in love with a man who left me two separate times to have affairs with much younger women.  The first time, I was devastated.  The second time, I was so angry I never wanted to see him again.  I tried to pretend I didn’t care, but that only deepened my anger and resentment.  I felt insecure, jealous, and filled with self-doubts.

It took me years to heal from that experience and recover my self-esteem.  I learned everything I could on healing and relationships.  Ultimately, it led me to the work I do now because I didn’t want other women to go through the long, painful process I did.

If your heart is hurting, here are three ways to begin healing:

• Focus your energy on yourself.  When we are involved in a painful relationship, all our energy gets directed at trying to make the relationship better.  There’s very little energy left for ourselves.  The biggest mistake we make as women is giving too much of ourselves away.  We try to make everything better for everyone else, but then have nothing left over for ourselves.  Let go of focusing your attention on your partner and his life; bring all of your attention back to your own life. 
• Express your feelings.  In order to start healing, your feelings need to be expressed in a safe place.  Create a “Healing Your Heart” journal and begin writing.  Talk with a coach, therapist, or spiritual counselor to have a safe environment to express your feelings and facilitate your healing process.  Reach out for help and support when you need it.
• Do one small thing every day that makes you feel good and helps you take better care of yourself.  When we are trying to pick up the pieces of our life after a relationship ends, we forget to take care of ourselves.  Yet, it’s the most critical time for us to give ourselves the love and attention we’re no longer receiving from a partner.

A lot of these things may feel impossible to do right now.  I know it did for me, but you can do it.  Get support and give yourself time.  The healing won’t happen overnight, but it will happen.  Be gentle with yourself.  Be patient.  Difficult though it may be to believe, you will heal.

Your Assignment:  Make healing and self-care your biggest priority.

If you have children, it will do them good to see you taking care of yourself.  You are not your best as a mother, if you are unhappy and miserable with your life.  You need to put yourself first.  You need a healthy outlet for your feelings and a safe space to heal your heart.

Look for one small thing to do each day that makes you feel good.  One day at a time, you will see, your life will become one that makes your heart sing again… where all your dreams can come true. 

 

 

Fear- Is Your Faith In Your Fear or Your Future?

My daughter started cheerleading practice this week.  The team appointed her their flyer.  She'll be the one that climbs to the top of the formations as all the other girls support her.  She had to push through her initial fears to trust that the other girls would be there to support her standing on their shoulders, and then to catch her when she jumped off.

It reminded me of how many times my own fears have kept me stuck.  Fear kept me trapped in the past.  Fear of the unknown, fear of rejection, and fear of abandonment kept me repeating old patterns and behaviors in my relationships and in my life for years.

The fearful questions would run endlessly through my head.  What if I end this relationship and find out it was as good as it gets?  What if I'm not good enough?  What if I get hurt?  What if I try and then fail?  I had more faith in my negative beliefs and fear of repeating the past, than I did in new possibilities for my future. 

I had no clue that fears were actually running my life.  Anger, worry, resentment, and insecurity showed up on the outside, but underneath everything was fear.  My way of dealing with it was to try to control everything and everyone in my life.  It was exhausting.  And I failed miserably.

When I was finally so tired of my excuses and even more tired of trying to control everything, I let go.  I realized the only way out of my perpetual cycle of fear was to surrender control, and move forward in faith.  I had to trust in something beyond myself to give me the faith I couldn't muster on my own.

It takes courage to surrender; to trust and have faith; to step beyond what you've known and experienced in the past; to believe you can create something different for yourself.  Ultimately, the faith we learn to have is in ourselves, bolstered by the knowledge that we are not alone.  We do not have to face our fears by ourselves.  We can reach beyond to a higher power greater than what we have and tap into faith.

"Faith equals trust.  Faith offers us hope, and opportunity and promise.  If we choose to live in faith, we will be blessed with the support and the partnership of the universe."-Debbie Ford

Your Assignment:  Ask, where is your faith?  Is it in your fears, or in the belief that you can create your future?

If you had complete faith in yourself and in your future, what would you do differently?

If you knew you could not fail, what would you do?

You deserve to have the best life you can possibly imagine.  The only question is, do you have the faith to step out and create it? 

 

What Is Your Life Reflecting Back To You?

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A few years ago, I read a story about Deepak Chopra in Joe Vitale's book, The Key, that left a huge impact on me. In his seminars and books, Deepak talks about all of life being a mirror and constantly reflecting back our own beliefs. If there are elements in another person that really anger or upset you, most likely, those are the same elements you have in yourself that you don't like.

In this story, Deepak was talking about a woman who came up to him at one of his seminars and really pushed his buttons. He thought this woman was rude, impatient, and obnoxious. He had a whole list of things.

Later he thought, Wait a minute, I should take my own teachings to heart. So he wrote down all the elements that he saw in the other person he didnt like. Then he called his publicist and said, Im going to read a list of these traits to you, and I want you to tell me if I have these. He listed them all, like obnoxious, rude, and impatient. He went through the whole list, and he said the other side of the phone was dead quiet for a long time. He thought, "Oh, no," and he decided to check with his wife.

He then read the same list to her. The silence on the other side of the phone was even longer this time than it had been with his publicist. The point being those elements he didn't like in the other person were the ones that he didn't like in himself.

After reading this story, I made a list of all the things that were triggering reactions in me about my ex-husband. I discovered the judgments and beliefs I was carrying around towards him were mirroring the beliefs I actually had about myself.

I blamed him for being unsupportive and critical of me, for not believing in me, for not caring about my happiness or success. But the truth was, deep down not only was I was not supportive of him, I was not supportive of myself. I didnt believe in myself. I wasn't committed to my own happiness or success. I didnt believe I deserved anything better.

I was so busy trying to jump around and make everyone else happy I lost myself in the process. Underneath all the anger and blame I directed towards others, I was deeply critical and angry with myself for not taking a stand for my own happiness and fulfillment. My life mirrored my lack of belief in myself.

I attached my self-worth and self-esteem to things, people, and circumstances outside myself. Rather than trusting and believing in myself, I was always looking for answers in yet another book, another degree, the next new seminar, or in my relationship with another person.

It wasn't until I discovered what was underneath my reactions to other people, that I was able to take responsibility for all the parts of myself I had disowned. Doing so not only transformed me, but all my relationships as well.

In The Dark Side of the Light Chasers, Debbie Ford said When we are willing to open our hearts to all that exists, and start looking for the good rather than the bad in everything, we will see God. We will see love. Remembering we are the ones choosing what we see is essential. On some level, we ask for all the lessons we learn in this lifetime. Every incident, no matter how horrible, has a gift for you. And if you get your gift then I will get mine, for I am you and you are me in the world of the spirit.

Your Assignment: Look at an aspect of someone that triggers an emotional reaction in you. Is there any place where you might have that same quality?

Is there something that you dislike in other people that you might also dislike in yourself? If that part of you had a potential gift to share, what would it be? What could it be here to teach you?

Only by accepting ourselves without judgment and blame can we uncover all the gifts we have to share with the world. Love all aspects of yourself fully. Your life and everyone in it will reflect back that same love.

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If you would like support in moving past the beliefs that are holding you back from living a life you love, send me an email.  When you don't have to do it all yourself, all things are possible for you.  We will work together to transform your pain into power; move beyond fear, resentment and other sabotaging emotions; rebuild your self-respect, self-confidence, and self-love to healing; and reinventing your life filled with love and inspiration.

Contact me today... I'd love to talk.

Resentment- Where Is It Keeping You Stuck In Your Life?

  Click this audio button to hear this week's article.

After my divorce, the biggest hurdle I had to overcome was the lingering resentment I felt towards my ex-husband. It kept me glued to the past. It ate away at my self-esteem and chained me to seeing myself as a victim.

The definition of resentment is “Indignation, or ill will, felt as a result of a real, or imagined, grievance.”

Whether my indignation and ill will were real, or imagined was irrelevant. As long as I hung on to my resentment, I gave away my power to change anything in my life.

The blame I directed at my ex-husband was a convenient way f or me to sidestep accepting responsibility for how I had contributed to the problems in our relationship.

My resentment was insidious in the way it showed up in my life. I ended one relationship after another. Nobody seemed good enough, because my resentment clouded my vision and prevented me from seeing any new relationship clearly. The dark, angry void inside of me was not something anyone else could fill.

Maybe I had a legitimate right to feel wronged and mistreated. But, I know my ex-husband would have said the same thing about me. One thing I know for sure, we are never alon e in a relationship. Who we are on the inside is what shows up on the outside.

If I blamed my ex-husband for betraying me and treating me poorly, I had to ask, where had I betrayed him and treated him poorly? Where had I betrayed myself by ignoring my feelings and dismissing my intuition when it told me things weren’t right?

The truth allowed me to reclaim my authenticity and sense of self. When I saw my own pattern of dysfunction, and took responsibility for my part in creating the past, I was empowered to create something different for myself. 

The pain and disappointment I experienced as a result of my marriage ending was the biggest catalyst for personal growth I’ve ever had. In my deep search for meaning and healing, it propelled me to look at parts of myself, and my behavior I had never seen before.

When I was able to see myself through the eyes of my ex-husband, I saw a more honest portrayal of who I was. Not good, not bad, just what was.
Virginia Satir said, “Life is not the way it’s supposed to be, it’s the way it is. The way you cope with it, is what makes the difference.”

In coping with what was, and who I was, I found the strength to change, and to make new choices. I also found the love, gratitude, and appreciation for my ex-husband and our marriage that had been buried under years of resentment. It was the best gift I could ever find. It allowed me to move on. I put the past behind me once and for all, and found the love and inspiration for my life I’d been looking for all along.

If you’re feeling resentment towards someone who hurt you, ‘un-stick’ yourself from the past, so you can be free to start creating a life you love.

Your Assignment: Find the source of your frustration, anger or resentment. What was it this person did that you still can’t forgive? What incident or experience can you not let go of? Now the difficult part… ask yourself, how did you contribute to creating this experience? Where did you not honor yourself and your own feelings? Were there red flags that you chose not to see?

Your answers will help you reclaim your power to see the past from a different perspective, and allow you to start the process of healing and forgiveness.

Healing Your Wounded Heart with Love

Click this audio button to hear this week's article

 

I have a confession.  If you haven't read my bio on my website or blog, you may not know I've been engaged twice and married twice, all to different men.  In addition, my daughter and I were both molested by my former stepfather.

Healing from heartbreak is something I know how to do really, really well. 

I've learned that once you know how to heal your heart, the process is the same, regardless of the circumstances.

Marianne Williamson said, "It is not the love we did not receive in the past that hurts us.  What hurts us is the love we are not extending in the present."

The place to extend that love when you've been heartbroken is to yourself.  It took me a long time to learn how to do this.  My initial way of coping was to distract myself and try to bury my feelings.  From the time I was 16 and my stepfather came into my life, I had an eating disorder for the next ten years that did a really good job of distracting me from the pain I was feeling.

When we've been heartbroken, one of the things that prevents our healing is resisting what we're feeling.  In my case, having an eating disorder was a way for me to resist dealing with my painful feelings.

If I had known then, what I know now, and had someone to walk me through the process of healing, I would have saved myself years of anguish.

It took me a long time to learn how to embrace and accept what I was feeling, no matter how unpleasant.  But once I did, it finally allowed me to gradually move through my feelings and eventually release them.  It didn’t happen overnight.

Grieving and healing from heartbreak is a process, but it doesn’t have to take years, as it initially did in my case.  If you know the steps, you can recover much more quickly and come out of the process an even stronger and more loving person than you were before.

The first step is to bring yourself to the present moment and allow yourself to feel whatever it is you’re feeling.  John Gray wrote a wonderful book called, “What You Feel, You Can Heal.”  Feeling is the first step in healing.

Allow all your feelings to come to the surface.  Breathe through them.  If tears come as well, then let them come.  Tears are very cleansing to the soul and they put us in touch with our hearts.  Getting in touch with our hearts is a big part of the healing process, so tears should be welcomed.

The next step is to express your feelings.  Expressing your feelings is critical to your healing.  You need to have a space to release whatever is going on inside of you, without having to be kind, spiritual, or worry about what someone else is going to think of you.

Through the years, my saving grace was expressing my feelings in my journal.  Having the outlet of my journal as a safe place to express all my emotions literally saved my life at times.

Now I have the benefit of a coach as an additional haven for me to express my feelings.  Only recently have I realized how powerful it is to have another person acknowledge and witness my feelings and intentions.  Having that supportive relationship in my life made transitioning through my last divorce, a thousand times easier than my first one twenty years ago.

It is essential to have a way to express all your feelings, whether that’s in a journal or by talking to a friend, therapist, or coach.  Until those unexpressed, painful feelings are released, you’ll stay stuck.

My grandmother passed away when I was eleven.  It took me ten years to complete the grieving process.  I bottled my sadness up inside me and pretended everything was fine.  It wasn’t until I took two dozen sleeping pills on my 17th birthday as a loud cry for help that I finally broke down.  I started expressing my grief, releasing what had been pent up inside me for years, and at last began to heal.

As you become present and start expressing all the feelings inside you, extend all the love you have to give, towards yourself.  That is where all your healing begins… with a heart full of love for yourself.

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” - Buddha

Does Your Life Need Spring Cleaning?

I love Spring.  Spring is a season of new beginnings.  It's time to put away the heavy coats and sweaters, clean out the closets, and give away things that no longer fit or that we've outgrown.

When I got divorced last year and started dating, one of the first things I did was clean out my closet.  I felt like I was starting a-new, not just emotionally, but even with the clothes I wore.  It felt good to give away so many things I had accumulated during my marriage that no longer served the 'new' me.  The 'new' me that was single, happy, free, and ready to be out and about dating.

Spring is an inviting time to look at anything and everything that is unnecessary in our lives.  What have we accumulated, in addition to old clothes, that may not be serving us any longer?

Sometimes we outgrow certain people and relationships in our lives, but we hang on to them out of fear that we may not find anything better.  Sometimes we're still hanging on to painful emotions from the past, because we haven't completely forgiven those involved.

But when we can move past fear, and release what is not in our highest and best interest, we make the space for the Universe to bring us something new and better.

Letting go allows the light to shine in the places that were dark and murky before, clouded by our fears.  It brings clarity and new understanding of what's possible for us.  Change not only then seems possible, but we can invite it with an open heart, because fear is gone.

What behaviors, emotions, or relationships are you hanging on to that are preventing you from stepping into the life you were meant to live?  A life that is filled with love, joy, and prosperity... instead of fear, pain and struggle.  

Don't wait any longer.  Spring is here.  New beginnings can happen the very moment you let go... and make space for the miracles to come bounding in.

Let's get some miracles going on this spring.

 

Remember Who You Really Are... A Beloved Child of God

This is what I know for sure about Love and the Law of Attraction... whatever I put my attention on with my beliefs, thoughts, and feelings, comes back to me multiplied, whether I like it or not.

So if there are experiences in my life where I haven't fully released the hurt, anger, or fear over what happened, I will continue to attract those types of experiences to me.

I have spent a huge part of my life learning how to forgive the people who hurt me.

For many years, I thought it was important to try and figure out why these things happened, and why it was necessary for me to go through these experiences.

Then I began to realize that the 'why' was not nearly as important as my desire to let the experiences go, and step out of being in the energy of a victim.

Years ago, I read the following parable from Conversations with God: An Uncommon Dialogue; Book 3, by Neale Donald Walsh, and it helped me tremendously to change my perception about those who had hurt me.

It helped me to not only learn how to forgive, but to also feel peace and even gratitude for everything that  happened. Now, I feel blessed because the experiences I had brought me an even greater understanding of who I am and what I am here to do, which is to teach unconditional love and acceptance for ourselves, and ultimately for others as well.

My wish for you is that this story will help you find a way to heal your heart from the past, so you can fully receive all the love that's waiting for you in the future.

[God talking:] "You may choose to be any part of God you wish to be," I said to the Little Soul. "You are Absolute Divinity, experiencing Itself. What Aspect of Divinity do you now wish to experience as You?"

"You mean I have a choice?" asked the Little Soul. And I answered, "Yes. You may choose to experience any Aspect of Divinity in, as, and through you."

"Okay," said the Little Soul, "then I choose Forgiveness. I want to experience my Self as that Aspect of God called Complete Forgiveness."

Well, this created a little challenge, as you can imagine.

There was no one to forgive. All I have created is Perfection and Love.

"No one to forgive?" asked the Little Soul, somewhat incredulously.

"No one," I repeated. "Look around you. Do you see any souls less perfect, less wonderful than you?"

At this the Little Soul twirled around, and was surprised to see himself surrounded by all the souls in heaven. They had come from far and wide throughout the Kingdom, because they heard that the Little Soul was having an extraordinary conversation with God.

I see none less perfect that I!" the Little Soul exclaimed. "Who, then, shall I have to forgive?"

Just then, another soul stepped forward from the crowd. "You may forgive me," said this Friendly Soul.

"For what?" the Little Soul asked.

"I will come into your physical lifetime and do something for you to forgive," replied the Friendly Soul.

"But what? What could you, a being of such Perfect Light, do to make me want to forgive you?" the Little Soul wanted to know.

"Oh," smiled the Friendly Soul, "I'm sure we can think of something."

"But why would you want to do this?" The Little Soul could not figure out why a being of such perfection would want to slow down its vibration so much that it could actually do something "bad."

"Simple," the Friendly Soul explained, "I would do it because I love you. You want to experience your Self as Forgiving, don't you?...

I ask only one thing in return," the Friendly Soul declared.

"Anything! Anything," the Little Soul cried. He was excited now to know that he could experience every Divine Aspect of God. He understood, now, The Plan.

"In the moment that I strike you and smite you," said the Friendly Soul, "in the moment that I do the worst to you that you could ever imagine- in that self-same moment... remember Who I Really Am."

"Oh, I won't forget!" promised the Little Soul. "I will see you in the perfection with which I hold you now, and I will remember Who You Are, always."

Remember who you really are... a beloved child of God and the Universe, deserving of all the love you desire.

© 2008 Dawn Allen

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WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEBSITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: Dawn Allen, CDC, CPTF, is a Love & Attraction Coach and founder of Inspired Heart Coaching™. Dawn is a leading authority on love and relationships, and specializes in helping single women attract the love of their lives. Through her group and private coaching programs, she teaches you how to attract and create a deep, magical, and loving relationship by releasing patterns from the past. To learn more about Dawn, visit www.InspiredHeartCoaching.com and receive her exclusive, new report, "4 Secrets to Finding Your Soul Mate", when you subscribe to her Ezine, or email her at Dawn@InspiredHeartCoaching.com.

Healing the Past with the Power of Love and the Law of Attraction

I remember quite some time ago reading in one of Wayne Dyer's books, the story of how he had visited his father's grave after years of struggling with the fact that his father had deserted his mother and left her with 3 boys and no means of support. Wayne talks about how not only was he able to forgive his father, but also find gratitude for what his father had taught him.

I was quite moved by the story and inspired by Wayne's ability to be grateful to a man who had brought nothing but pain and grief into his life.

Fast forward a number of years to the past few weeks...

I have been doing a great deal of work on my personal relationships with the law of attraction, both current and those in the past.

Knowing how important it is to not only find forgiveness for those that have "harmed" us, but also take the next step in finding gratitude and appreciation for what they brought to our lives, has taken me on quite an emotional journey.

But, I was determined to clean up any past negative energy from old, hurtful relationships because I want all areas of my life to be completely aligned with what I want, which is harmony, peace, and joyful abundance!

I know it's impossible to create that if you're still hanging on to any old resentments, or negative feelings towards someone or something from the past.

So onward I pushed... to the one person and relationship I've struggled with for the past 32 years... the man my mother was married to for almost 30 years, my former stepfather.

When he and my mother first got together when I was 16, he started making sexual advances towards me, a behavior I tolerated for almost the entire 30 years they were together.

Until he did the same thing to my then 9 year old daughter, and when she finally told me about what he'd been doing to her a year later, I gave my mother a choice... continuing to see her only grandchild, or her abusive husband. She got divorced.

Now I have done a LOT of forgiveness work around my stepfather and have for years, and I had really come to a place of peace and understanding about his behavior and his actions, both towards my daughter and me. Of course, it helped that my daughter is doing just fine after a year or so of therapy, and is a happy, thriving girl.

However, I had never actually moved into a place of being able to find appreciation and gratitude for my stepfather until recently when I really started applying the law of attraction to that part of my life.

After weeks of journaling and meditation, I finally came to that space of realizing that I would not be on the path I am on today without that experience with my stepfather, coupled with the many things he did throughout the years that actually were helpful (i.e., he taught me a career in administration, helped me with a down payment on a house, etc.).

I found a place of gratitude and appreciation for ALL of what he had brought to my life.

I wanted to send an email to my stepfather telling him how I felt, but for some reason I kept putting it off because it just didn't feel like the right time (Law of Attraction Rule: Always follow your Inner Guidance!).

A few weeks later, my mother told me she was expecting my stepfather to come through town (they still had occasional contact) and that he was going to stop by her house. I told her my daughter and I would make ourselves scarce that day to make sure we didn't run into him.

For whatever reason, he never showed up at my mom's house on the day he was supposed to so my mom just figured either he chose not to stop or something else came up.

Two days later, I stopped at my mom's house to drop off my dog before I went to an appointment. I knew my mom was volunteering at the hospital, but her dog and my dog like to keep each other company when we're both away from home.

I drove up to her house and I saw a strange car parked in her driveway and someone standing in her garage. As I parked and got out of the car, I realized it was my stepfather.

After my initial "Oh my gosh" moment of seeing him for the first time since I found out about what he'd done to my daughter over 3 years ago, I realized I had nothing to be afraid of anymore. I walked up to him, said hello, and gave him a hug as if he'd never done anything wrong.

It was over. In that moment, I let go of 32 years of fear that I'd had towards this man. The law of attraction brought us together knowing how much more powerful this act of forgiveness would be for me to do in person, rather than by email.

In that moment, I realized he had come into my life to bring me to where I am today, and the same for my daughter, who is now beautiful, strong, and knows how to speak her mind... thank heavens!

I felt only gratitude... and love.

And life changed forever because the past was now over.

Dawn Allen

Certified Law of Attraction Coach & Practitioner

Spiritual & Metaphysical Counselor and Teacher

Healing the Past with the Power of Love and the Law of Attraction

I remember quite some time ago reading in one of Wayne Dyer's books, the story of how he had visited his father's grave after years of struggling with the fact that his father had deserted his mother and left her with 3 boys and no means of support. Wayne talks about how not only was he able to forgive his father, but also find gratitude for what his father had taught him.

I was quite moved by the story and inspired by Wayne's ability to be grateful to a man who had brought nothing but pain and grief into his life.

Fast forward a number of years to the past few weeks...

I have been doing a great deal of work on my personal relationships with the law of attraction, both current and those in the past.

Knowing how important it is to not only find forgiveness for those that have "harmed" us, but also take the next step in finding gratitude and appreciation for what they brought to our lives, has taken me on quite an emotional journey.

But, I was determined to clean up any past negative energy from old, hurtful relationships because I want all areas of my life to be completely aligned with what I want, which is harmony, peace, and joyful abundance!

I know it's impossible to create that if you're still hanging on to any old resentments, or negative feelings towards someone or something from the past.

So onward I pushed... to the one person and relationship I've struggled with for the past 32 years... the man my mother was married to for almost 30 years, my former stepfather.

When he and my mother first got together when I was 16, he started making sexual advances towards me, a behavior I tolerated for almost the entire 30 years they were together.

Until he did the same thing to my then 9 year old daughter, and when she finally told me about what he'd been doing to her a year later, I gave my mother a choice... continuing to see her only grandchild, or her abusive husband. She got divorced.

Now I have done a LOT of forgiveness work around my stepfather and have for years, and I had really come to a place of peace and understanding about his behavior and his actions, both towards my daughter and me. Of course, it helped that my daughter is doing just fine after a year or so of therapy, and is a happy, thriving girl.

However, I had never actually moved into a place of being able to find appreciation and gratitude for my stepfather until recently when I really started applying the law of attraction to that part of my life.

After weeks of journaling and meditation, I finally came to that space of realizing that I would not be on the path I am on today without that experience with my stepfather, coupled with the many things he did throughout the years that actually were helpful (i.e., he taught me a career in administration, helped me with a down payment on a house, etc.).

I found a place of gratitude and appreciation for ALL of what he had brought to my life.

I wanted to send an email to my stepfather telling him how I felt, but for some reason I kept putting it off because it just didn't feel like the right time (Law of Attraction Rule: Always follow your Inner Guidance!).

A few weeks later, my mother told me she was expecting my stepfather to come through town (they still had occasional contact) and that he was going to stop by her house. I told her my daughter and I would make ourselves scarce that day to make sure we didn't run into him.

For whatever reason, he never showed up at my mom's house on the day he was supposed to so my mom just figured either he chose not to stop or something else came up.

Two days later, I stopped at my mom's house to drop off my dog before I went to an appointment. I knew my mom was volunteering at the hospital, but her dog and my dog like to keep each other company when we're both away from home.

I drove up to her house and I saw a strange car parked in her driveway and someone standing in her garage. As I parked and got out of the car, I realized it was my stepfather.

After my initial "Oh my gosh" moment of seeing him for the first time since I found out about what he'd done to my daughter over 3 years ago, I realized I had nothing to be afraid of anymore. I walked up to him, said hello, and gave him a hug as if he'd never done anything wrong.

It was over. In that moment, I let go of 32 years of fear that I'd had towards this man. The law of attraction brought us together knowing how much more powerful this act of forgiveness would be for me to do in person, rather than by email.

In that moment, I realized he had come into my life to bring me to where I am today, and the same for my daughter, who is now beautiful, strong, and knows how to speak her mind... thank heavens!

I felt only gratitude... and love.

And life changed forever because the past was now over.

Dawn Allen

Certified Law of Attraction Coach & Practitioner

Spiritual & Metaphysical Counselor and Teacher