Meet and Marry Mr. Right- Finally Find and Keep the Right Man For You Once and For All- Dawn Allen, Dating and Relationship Advice Expert for Women

7 Steps to Magically Magnetize the Man of Your Dreams

Have you ever felt like there had to be something you were missing in the grand scheme to attract the love of your life because you’ve tried everything and he still hasn’t showed up?

Ever wished there was a magical process for attracting the love of your life?

Me too.

I felt exactly this same way for years and years… and years.  Until I finally put it all together.  I finally figured it out. 

In my upcoming book, “Meet and Marry Mr. Right- 7 Steps to Magically Magnetize the Man of Your Dreams,” I’ll be sharing my personal experiences of what I’ve learned on how to consciously attract love into your life. 

But I wanted to share the information with you first :-)

So here are the seven steps.  And in the coming weeks, we’ll explore each of these in depth so you can finally find and keep the right man for you once and for all :-)

Step Number One:  Decide & Get Clear

You have to make the decision about what you want.  Get clear about your desires for love, a soul mate and a relationship.  You have to know yourself well enough to know what you really need and want in a partner.

Step Number Two:  Support Yourself with Love

You know the old saying, “If you don’t love yourself then how is anyone else going to love you?”  It’s true.  Our relationships are just reflections of our beliefs about ourselves.  Before you can fully love, accept and appreciate a partner, you’ve got to love, accept and appreciate yourself.

Step Number Three:  Set Aside Doubt & Fear

If you don’t really believe you deserve love or think it’s difficult to come by, you’ll have a hard time attracting it.  You’ve got to let go of any limiting beliefs about love and what’s possible for you to manifest.   If what we want isn’t showing up in our life, it’s probably because we don’t really believe it’s possible or don’t feel we deserve it.

Step Number Four:  Eliminate Any Obstacles

You may need to release old energies relating to a previous partner or relationship.  This includes any anger, resentment, guilt or fear of getting hurt.  Any of all of these will prevent new love from showing up in your life because your energy is being held captive by the past.  You have to free your heart and energy completely before you can manifest what you desire.

Step Number Five:  Surrender Control

It’s difficult to attract and create what we want when we’re feeling needy or desperate and attached to the outcome.  In fact, that very energy will repel exactly what it is we want, especially when it comes to men.  Too much attention on a desire can start to push it away if we get frustrated and fear that it might not happen.  By stating your intentions and then letting them go, the Universe has the space to start creating miracles for you and manifesting your desires. 

Step Number Six:  Travel Lightly & Stay Open to Divine Guidance

Have fun, do the things you love and stop waiting around for a man to do them with.  If you’re out in the world enjoying yourself, you’ll be a magnet to love.  Your stepping forward into inspired action shows the Universe you’re serious about your intentions to create what you want.

Step Number Seven:  Trust the Process

Once we put ourselves on the path to love, we have to let go of how and when what we want will show up.  The Universe has its own Divine timing and sometimes it tests our patience.

Your job is to set aside doubt and fear, believe you can have what you desire and know you deserve it. 

Focus on how you want to feel when this wonderful man shows up in your life.

Once you shift your thoughts and feelings, you shift your vibration.
Love is the most powerful vibration on the planet. 

So shift to feeling love… for yourself, for the people in your life, for the future you’re creating in this moment. 

Then the Universe can come through to deliver your fondest dreams.

You’ll become a magnet to the love of your life so quickly you will think it appeared as if by magic.

And it will be magic.  But it will be the magic you created for yourself.

Do You Have Your Soul Mate BluePrint?

My daughter just got back from volleyball camp and her weeklong trip to Lake Shasta so we've been spending a lot of time catching up.  I'm happy that at 15 she still wants to occasionally spend time with her mother :-)  And we do have a good time together.

Hard to believe summer has flown by and she'll be starting school towards the end of this month.  Thankfully, she's eager to get back to school and I'm eager to get back to a regular schedule!

In the heat of August, we've done lots of reading and watching movies.  One movie I'm eager to see is "Eat, Pray, Love" because it's such an inspiring story of what can happen with love when we take the journey of self-discovery and awareness.

Knowing who you are and learning about what you want are critical to being able to attract your heart's desire... especially when it comes to love.

So as a continuation of last week's, "Soul Mate 100 List", this week we'll find out about how to build your "Soul Mate BluePrint".

Remember, the Universe really loves clarity and inspired action.  So get clarity with your list and build your blueprint with inspired action and let me know how you do... :-)

And until next time, please remember to love and value yourself and ALL your dreams and desires... because you are worth it.  As one of my most favorite quotes from "Eat Pray Love" says, "You don't need a man.  You need a champion."

Be your own champion first... and that's exactly what you'll attract in a man :-)

Do You Have Your Soul Mate BluePrint?

Have you made your list of 100 things you want in your soul mate... what I like to call your Soul Mate 100 List?

Great! Then you're ready for Step Two in the Sacred Secrets to Love Process. Because you're now probably wondering... how is this guy going to show up? What do I have to do to manifest him now that I know what I want? Will he find me if I just put out my intention to the Universe that I want to attract him?

Well, maybe.

And, maybe not.

Even though we attract everything in life with our thoughts, beliefs, feelings and intentions (and believe me, if THOSE aren't all lined up with what you want, ain't nothin' gonna happen), the Universe LOVES inspired action.

Inspired action lets the Universe KNOW you're serious about manifesting your desires and willing to do whatever it takes. In other words, you are committed to the process.

Now inspired action does not mean you have to go do a bunch of stuff that you hate. Quite the contrary. You may have to push past some fear and resistance to follow through on your inspired action, but you'll still feel the nudge that this is something you need to do, even if it feels a little scary.

But by taking action, even in small pieces, you are letting the Universe know you are READY, even if it means moving past your comfort zone.

So what do you have to do?

Sometimes it's about clearing the path to allow your soul mate in to your life.

Like making sure you are completely free of the past. Making sure you have totally let go of all negative feelings associated with previous relationships. Anger, guilt, remorse or resentment from the past will block the way towards attracting new love into your life.

If you don't clear those feelings first, believe me you'll carry the past right along with you into the future. Not a good starting point for your soul mate relationship.

But what if you're completely clear from the past and KNOW you've prepared the way? What else do you have to do?

Sometimes not anything at all, except live in that place of joyful expectation and anticipation knowing without a doubt that your soul mate IS going to show up in your life. If you truly believe and know that in your heart, it can happen without you're doing anything else.

But if you get an inner nudge or guidance to do something, you have to be willing to do it. Your willingness to take action is an indication to the Universe that you are clear and ready to do what is needed to attract the love of your life.

But the actions you take will feel inspired.

So how do you know what inspired action to take?

Here's what to do (and this is from one of my most favorite teachers, Abraham-Hicks):

1. Begin by getting into a really 'feeling good' kind of place. You can't manifest anything from a place of need, desperation, fear or anger (except to manifest more of the same). Your attracting abilities are at their highest when you're in a state of love and joy, so do whatever you need to do to get into a happy state of mind.

2. Now close your eyes (or look at your vision board if you have one) and visualize having your soul mate in your life. What will your life be like? Years ago when I first started dating my husband, every night before I went to sleep, I'd visualize us getting married on a beach in Hawaii. Just the two of us on a very secluded beach. A few years later that is EXACTLY what happened. Although we discussed having a big wedding with our friends and family, it ended up being just the two of us on a private beach in Hawaii with a minister. It wasn't until after we had been married for a few weeks that I realized I had visualized our exact wedding years before.

3. Hold this vision of you and your soul mate together. Really get into the feeling of what it's going to be like when you him and have this relationship you've been dreaming of. Visualize as many details as you possibly can and feel it as if it was happening right now.

4. If you can maintain these feelings of what it would be like to live your vision for at least 68 seconds, you will have put the manifestation process into effect. That's it. Just 68 seconds and you're off and running to your heart's desire. And the longer you can hold the feelings of experiencing this vision as if it were already here, the faster it will manifest for you.

5. Here's the key to inspired action... after doing your visualization, if you'll ask, "Is there some action I need to take to bring this into my reality?"... and then listen very clearly for the answer you'll know what, if anything, you need to do. But you have to be open to whatever the answer may be and willing to take action.

So that's it for your Soul Mate BluePrint Lesson. What will your inspired actions look like?

Attracting Your Soul Mate- Here's Step One...

I really love roses.  One of the great things about summer... even when it's blazing hot outside like it is this today, the roses are still blooming like crazy.

I try to always have a bouquet of roses in the house, whether they're from our yard or I'm fortunate enough to receive them from the man in my life.  For me, they are such a beautiful reminder of the celebration of love.

A big key in manifesting love in your life is that you first have to give yourself the love you deserve and desire, before you can attract it in a partner and relationship.

Our lives and relationships are just a mirror for what's going on inside of us.  So if you value yourself and your desires, your life and your relationships will reflect back to you everything you desire.

Unfortunately, the reverse is true as well.  If you're not valuing yourself and your desires, that will be reflected as well.  I've written extensively about the importance of loving and valuing yourself.

But it's also important to get really clear about what it is you want.

Having done more free sessions these past two weeks than I can count, one of the first things we talked about in most of the sessions was what each person really wanted in a partner and relationship.

Since I didn't have time to write an article this week, instead I have a fun little exercise for you to do that will help you take Step #1 in manifesting your soul mate... getting really, really clear about what you want.

There are two things the Universe really loves.  Clarity and inspired action.  This week we'll talk about clarity.  Next week inspired action.   See below to get started... :-)

The Soul Mate 100 List...

Okay, you've done lots of work on trying to manifest your soul mate.

But have you gotten clear about what you want?  I mean REALLY clear.

One thing I noticed when I was dating.  Even though I had made my list of the things I wanted in a partner, when I was really dating a lot, I got even clearer.  Partially because I was also discovering a lot about what I didn't want.  But that just made it easier to know what I DID want. :-)

So, although you may have made your list of what you want in a partner before, I'm going to ask you to do it again this week.

And here's what I want you to do differently...

I want you to make a list of 100 things you want in a partner and in your relationship.

Now 100 things may seem like a lot, but there are a number of things I think we often forget to include when we're making out list.

So answer these questions and I think it will help...

=>  First, describe your ideal partner.  What qualities would you like him to have... physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually?  What kind of behavior, values and morals would you like in a partner?

=>  Second, describer your ideal relationship with your partner.  What types of things would you like to do?  How would you like the relationship to be?  Do you want companionship?  A playmate?  A partner in life forever?  A father for your children?  Do you want to spend lots of time together?  Or are you content with less time but more quality time when you are together?

=>  Third, and perhaps most importantly, how do you want to feel in this relationship and with your partner?  How do you want to be?  Do you want to feel cherished, adored and treasured?  Is it important that you feel respected, appreciated and supported? 

Really take some time to think about how you want to feel in this relationship because it is our feelings that attract what we want more than anything else.

If you can get clear about what you want and then step into the feeling of what it would be like to have it, you'll attract it... as long as you really feel inside that you deserve it.

Ready to Find Your Soul Mate? Here's How to Take Inspired Action...

In my twenties, I was living a pretty great life in Los Angeles.  I had a job I loved that paid me well.  I lived in a beautiful apartment, had a nice car and was pretty much enjoying life as a single girl.

However, as I approached 27, I was feeling ready to settle down and get married.  I had dated a lot of different men, and it had really helped me figure out my likes and dislikes.  But even though I was very happy on my own, I was ready for a more serious relationship.

I knew what I wanted… a single, successful man who could make me laugh and was ready to get married.  My mother always said, ‘Marry someone who will make you laugh.  It makes life easier when you can laugh about things together.’

At the time, I was working for a large pension plan administration company.  Part of my job included calculating pension benefits due participants when a plan was terminated.

As I was working on one rather difficult and complicated pension plan, I noticed we had two different birth dates in our records for one participant.  Depending on which birth date I used, it made a substantial difference in his payout.

Normally I would have called the on-site administrator at the company for the correct information.  I tried never to have direct communication with the participants.  They inevitably ended up asking way too many questions about when they’d be getting their money and how much they’d be receiving.

But that day I decided to pick up the phone and call the participant directly.  I was eager to complete the final calculations and this one discrepancy was holding everything up.

I called the participant, Scott, around 8:30am that morning.  I assumed it was his work phone number we had in the file.  I didn’t realize it was his home number until he answered and it was obvious I had woke him up. 

I apologized for calling so early, explained who I was, why I was calling and could he please clarify his date of birth for me.

Scott answered very graciously even though I had dragged him out of bed.  I realized we had done his calculations with the incorrect birth date.  I told him his original amount was wrong, and I would have to recalculate his payout and call him back with the corrected figure.

A few hours later, I called with his new payout which was about $10,000 higher than his previous amount.

He jokingly said, “I think I love you.  Will you marry me?” 

A bouquet of flowers arrived that afternoon with a thank you note attached from him. 

It turned out, not only was Scott 36 and single, he was also talented, funny, smart and successful.  Being in the film industry, he had recently decided to stop dating flaky-Hollywood type girls because he was ready to settle down and get married.

We were married 8 months later.

He was the perfect man for me at that time in my life.  He was generous, treated me wonderfully and to this day, he still makes me laugh.

The beauty of inspired action is when you’re clear about what you want and not coming from a place of need or desperation, it feels natural, easy and effortless.

I had calculated pension benefits for hundreds of clients in that job, many of whom had discrepancies in their information that I needed to verify, but Scott was the only one I ever called directly.

Why?  It was inspired action.

I knew what I wanted, but I was also happy with my life the way it was, so I was unattached as to how and when what I wanted was going to show up.

My dear friend, Arielle Ford, says it’s when you have this really great life going on that your soul mate shows up when you least expect it.

On your journey to love, let go of any doubts, fears or limiting beliefs about what’s possible for you.  Be unattached to the how, when and where of your soul mate showing up.

Focus on getting that really great life going on for yourself. 

When you’re clear about what you want and ready for it to manifest, your only job is to listen carefully for those inspired actions… and then take them!  You’ll be amazed at the miracles that happen for you.

And you deserve them.

3 Clues to Creating Magic in Your Life

Have you ever had one of those weeks where everything just felt magical?

I had one of those last week. You can read more about it in my article below and what I learned about how to consciously create magic in your life instead of just waiting for it to happen accidentally like I did :-)

I am honored, greatly honored, to now be featured on Arielle Ford's website, SoulMateSecret.com, as a referral coach. I am thrilled beyond belief to have this amazing opportunity and the way it literally dropped into my lap is what inspired my article.

I am proudly offering Arielle's Soul Mate Kit and I received Arielle's permission and support to create a new coaching program around the Soul Mate Kit. I couldn't be more excited!

I'm off today to enjoy some glorious spring weather we're having here in Southern Oregon after weeks of cold and rain... the sun is out and the flowers are blooming.

A very dear and wonderful client from Denmark (Thank you, Tine!) sent me this beautiful photograph as a 'thank you' after a coaching session we had this week.
It reminded me of all the magic that exists in our world that can be so easy to overlook sometimes when I get too busy to stop and appreciate it.

My wish for you this week is that you'll remember to look for all the magic that exists in your beautiful world.

And my every day be filled with an abundance of all the love you so deserve.

Feature Article

"3 Clues to Creating Magic in Your Life"

 

I admit it, I have been working like crazy lately.

Since I really love what I do, that's not hard to do. But I have felt like I have been needing to get away for months and just haven't taken the time.

So when the wonderful friend invited me away for the weekend, I took advantage of it. I completely disengaged, relaxed in a beautiful hotel and enjoyed a fabulous weekend for three lovely days.

I got home feeling completely reenergized.

Creating Magic Clue #1: Taking breaks and getting away can have a profoundly positive effect on your energy!

The week after I got home, I had agreed to an interview with Renee Heimerman for her A Bundle of Joy Teleseminar, but I had inadvertently scheduled it for the wrong day on my calendar. I was completely surprised when the email reminder arrived an hour before the teleclass was scheduled to start!

Thankfully I was able to rearrange my schedule and it ended up being one of the best interviews I've done for a long time (you can listen in if you like by clicking here). I finished the interview feeling so appreciative for being able to do what I do.

Creating Magic Clue #2: Sometimes going with the flow, not resisting what 'is' and trusting what the Universe brings to you, allows even more good to flow to you.
A few hours after my interview, I received a personal email from Arielle Ford, creator of the Soul Mate Kit, and one of my most favorite authors.

Arielle said that one of my clients, Lynn Fletcher (you can read her testimonial below) had shared her story of how she found her soul mate, which she attributed to going through Arielle's Soul Mate Kit and her coaching with me.

Lynn had spoken so highly of her work with me that Arielle asked if I would be a referral coach for her, since she doesn't do any private coaching.

After doing the Snoopy-Happy-Dog-Dance around my house, I wrote back that I'd of course be thrilled and honored. We spoke in person shortly thereafter and she gave me her permission to create an exclusive new coaching program around the Soul Mate Kit.

To say I was thrilled, grateful and appreciative for the opportunity to work with her would be an understatement.

Creating Magic Clue #3: Expressing joy and appreciation for what the Universe brings to you and asking for what you want (I asked if I could create the coaching program) brings even more for you to appreciate.

So here are my 3 tips for you to start creating magic in your life:

1.  Take a break and go do something you love when you're feeling stressed or overwhelmed

2.  Don't resist what happens or what you're feeling, but instead try and shift your perception to trusting that it's exactly what is supposed to be happening for your benefit

3.  Express love, joy and appreciation for as many things, people and events in your life as you possibly can... because the more you do, the more the Universe will bring you even more to love and appreciate

I wish for you as many magical moments as you can take in this week. And if you'd like some support in creating magic in your life, I'm happy to help you on the journey.

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” - Buddha

 

Copyright 2010 Dawn Allen

How to Reinvent Your World...

Have you ever thought about the possibilities of reinventing your world?

George Bernard Shaw once said, “Progress is impossible without change; and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.”

So what if we changed our minds about what’s possible for ourselves and our future?

What if by changing our perception of ‘what is’, we were also able to change our perception of ‘what can be…’

One of the things I love most about working with my clients is that I can hold a bigger vision for them than they can see for themselves.  And by having someone who holds that vision for them, it inspires them to create even more than they ever thought possible.

How cool is that?

And my coaches have done the same for me.

But what I’ve sometimes found is that it is very often my own limiting beliefs about the past that get in the way of creating my future.

Why is that?

Because there is a part of me that thinks I’m still that same person I was in the past and therefore, hindered by the same mistakes I made in the past.

Then one day my mentor, who is a multiple 7-figure coach and I figure knows what the heck she’s talking about, said to me, “You are not the same person today as you were in the past when you made those choices and those decisions and attracted those experiences.  Why would you think that your future would be based on your past?”

Huh… go figure.  I can tell this stuff to my clients all day long, but I still can’t always see it for myself.

And of course, she was right.  I am different.  I have grown.  I have changed.  I make different decisions today because I know more.  And heaven knows, I certainly attract different experiences than I did in the past… because we attract what we are and it’s always congruent with our beliefs about who we are.

So, I made the executive decision that day as the major shareholder in “Dawn Allen, Inc.” to overwrite my old self-image and instead to work with one of my choosing. 

And I would encourage you to do the same.

I decided to expand my beliefs about what’s possible for my future.  Not based on the past.  But instead, based on what I truly desire.  Knowing that God never gives us a dream or desire without the capacity to make it come true.

So what about you?

Is there a difficult situation in your life that has challenged you in the past?

Could you change your perception to view it as having been there to benefit you in some way?

It has been a life-changing decision for me to shift my perception to see every challenge as a means to bringing me greater self-awareness and an opportunity for self-growth.

It has also allowed me to expand my belief of what’s possible for my future.

Now, instead of looking back and seeing myself as powerless or blaming myself (or worse, someone else!) for seeming failure, I have chosen to view those circumstances as benefiting me by helping me to grow, to become more of who I am.

One of my favorite things to tell my clients is it’s not the easy stuff that makes us grow, it’s those difficult, challenging, “Oh-my-gosh-why-is-this-happening-to-me?” moments when we really get to see how strong we are, how capable we are, how much more we can survive than we ever thought possible.

Those are the times that show us who we are and what we’re made of.

And those are the times when we have a choice… we can choose to see ourselves as victims of fate, unable to choose our destinies. 

Or we can chalk it up to being an AFGO (Another Freakin’ Growth Opportunity) in this beautiful mosaic we call life.

But it is a mosaic you get to create and call your own.

Make it one you love.

And make it as brilliant, bright and shining… as you are.

Past Relationships- How to release them so you can step into the future

Have you ever been in a relationship where you felt like no matter what you did or what you said, you were still attached to the person you were trying to leave behind?

Been there.  The last time, after I had exhausted all my resources for doing everything I knew to let go of the past, a very powerful visualization came to me one morning while I was meditating.

While I was going through this process, I wanted to feel like I was letting go of the past in a peaceful and harmonious way.

I wanted to feel like I was moving towards something I wanted rather than away from something I didn't want.

I've had a quite a few clients recently who were in the same place... needing and wanting to move on from the past, but not knowing how.   

This visualization worked so well for me, I now take all my clients through it as well, and I wanted to share it with you...

Feel free to pass it on if you know anyone who might be needing to leave the past behind, because until we fully complete and release our past relationships, we will continue to carry our emotional baggage into the future.

Take your time with this meditation and do it as often as necessary until you feel a sense of completion.

Find a comfortable place to sit and relax.

Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths.

Allow your awareness to rest gently on your heart.

Visualize yourself standing someplace quiet and peaceful.

Now visualize the person you would like to release from the past standing across from you.

You are each holding one end of a cord that runs between you.

This cord represents your attachment to each other and the energetic connection of your relationship.

You can visualize this cord as a golden rope of light, or a piece of heavy white cord, whatever feels right

for you.

Take a few minutes to tell this person anything you need to say to feel complete with the relationship.

You are speaking to this person’s higher self, so whatever you say will be understood.

Visualize them being appreciative of your telling them how you feel and accepting of anything you have to say.

When you feel complete, lovingly tell this person good-bye and thank them for everything you learned

while you were with them.

Very gently set your end of the cord that you were holding down on the ground.  By setting down your end of the cord, you have released your attachment to this person and the relationship completely.

There is no longer any energetic connection between you. 

You can visualize them setting down their end of the cord, or perhaps they have chosen to hang on to their end of the cord, whatever they choose to do in your visualization is fine.

But since you have set down your end of the cord, you are now free of your connection to the past.

Once you have said good-bye and set down the cord, visualize yourself turning and walking towards a beautiful, white light.

Within this beautiful white light is everything you now want to manifest in your life… all your dreams, goals, and desires.

Now that you have released and let go of the past, you are free to walk into this light and know that

everything is there waiting for you.

Your only job now is to feel what it’s like to be surrounded by everything you desire; your dreams are there waiting for you, you just need to open your arms and let them into your life.

The only thing that was holding you back was your attachment to the past.

Now that you’ve let that go, you are free to receive all the good waiting for you now and in the future.

Spend some time thinking about everything that this beautiful white light holds for you.

Write it all down… your ideal relationship and partner, your ideal career and financial resources, your ideal home life, your physical health and well-being.

Tap into the experience of what it would feel like to be living in your ideal life.

Place your hand over your heart and anchor those feelings of joy, happiness, peace, love, success, prosperity... whatever feelings represent your ideal life for you. 

Anytime you start to feel worried, doubtful or insecure, go back to this meditation and visualize yourself again gently putting down the cord to the past and walking towards the light of everything you want in your life.

Every time you do this visualization, you will be freeing yourself more and more from the past, and strengthening your connection to the future, your desires and effortlessly attracting them into your life.

I'd love to hear from you, and as always, if I can support you in any way, please let me know.

Until next time...

With love light and blessings,

Dawn

 

Dawn Allen, M.S.

Love & Law of Attraction Coach

Certified Dream Coach

Certified Passion Test Facilitator

541.608.0508

http://www.InspiredHeartCoaching.com

dawn@inspiredheartcoaching.com

Relationship Fears- Now that my house has burned down...

 There’s wonderful Zen maxim that says, “Now that my house has burned down, I have a much better view of the sky.”

It made me laugh out loud the first time I read it.

Then I started to think about how well it described something that happened not long ago in my relationship with the man I’m involved with.

Our relationship was going along wonderfully.

Then something between us changed.

At the time, I couldn’t really put my finger on what it was.

But I started feeling insecure and fearful.

Looking back, I now see it was because I was becoming very attached to the outcome of our relationship and had some pretty clear expectations.

Even coaches make mistakes. :-)

And, of course, my greatest fear was realized shortly thereafter. 

The man I was involved with stopped calling.  Big surprise.

We attract what we think about and what we’re feeling, good or bad, right or wrong, that’s just the way it is.

Days ticked by and I had no idea what had happened other than it had felt awkward the last time we had seen each other.

I was confused.

Over the next couple of weeks, I did a lot of soul searching, letting go and finally came to a place of peace

about what felt like the end of our relationship.

I eventually sent him a very short email saying I hoped he was well and that perhaps the next time he was out he could drop off the dishes I had given him from the last time I made him dinner.

He emailed me back almost immediately saying not only did he want to deliver my dishes, but he really wanted to talk to me in person, if I was open to it.

I agreed, although I felt slightly nervous about seeing him again after basically no contact for 2 ½ weeks.

I decided to let go of any expectations and let him take the lead with everything.

He came over that same night and as soon I saw him, I completely relaxed, because he was clearly happy to see me.

He took me out for a drink, and we chatted about everything we’d been doing over the last couple of weeks.  Nothing serious.

After he brought me home, he asked if we could talk, because he really wanted to explain what had happened over the last couple of weeks.

For the next hour, he tried to put into words why he hadn’t called me.  He admitted he didn’t really understand why he hadn’t been in touch, because he really enjoyed being with me.

He said things just started to feel different.  He was right.

Our fears and expectations about the relationship were making us both feel uncomfortable and uneasy, we

just didn’t realize it at the time.

He said there was a part of him that felt like he needed to know all the answers about our future, and because he didn’t, he withdrew.

I told him not only did he not need to know all the answers, but that I was happy to just be with him now.

We both relaxed and by letting go of our expectations, we were able to communicate freely with each other.

He mentioned that before what we now refer to as The Break in our relationship, it felt like there was a

sense of urgency.  Very true.

All the unspoken expectations we had and projections about the future not only created a sense of urgency, but brought up all our fears and insecurities as well, mine especially.

But once ‘the house burned down,’ and all the fears were brought to light, we were able to release them so we could have a ‘better view of the sky’ and relax into just enjoying each other and our wonderful relationship now, instead of being so focused on what was or wasn’t going to happen in the future.

I have a new appreciation for him that wasn’t there before.

And even though, I’m more in love with him than I ever was, I’m no longer projecting into the future and trying to figure everything out.

And neither is he.

We are completely happy to be together and allow things to unfold, trusting that fate brought us back together for a reason.

He jokingly says I should advise all my clients to take a 2 ½ week break in their relationships so they can come back together with a renewed appreciation for each other. :-)

Hmmmm.  Maybe.

My wish for you is that your house won’t ever have to burn down in order for you to have a better view of the sky.

Release your fears.

Trust the Universe.

Enjoy the present.

And relax into well-being.

 

Until next time...

With love, light and blessings,

Dawn

Fear- Is Your Faith In Your Fear or Your Future?

My daughter started cheerleading practice this week.  The team appointed her their flyer.  She'll be the one that climbs to the top of the formations as all the other girls support her.  She had to push through her initial fears to trust that the other girls would be there to support her standing on their shoulders, and then to catch her when she jumped off.

It reminded me of how many times my own fears have kept me stuck.  Fear kept me trapped in the past.  Fear of the unknown, fear of rejection, and fear of abandonment kept me repeating old patterns and behaviors in my relationships and in my life for years.

The fearful questions would run endlessly through my head.  What if I end this relationship and find out it was as good as it gets?  What if I'm not good enough?  What if I get hurt?  What if I try and then fail?  I had more faith in my negative beliefs and fear of repeating the past, than I did in new possibilities for my future. 

I had no clue that fears were actually running my life.  Anger, worry, resentment, and insecurity showed up on the outside, but underneath everything was fear.  My way of dealing with it was to try to control everything and everyone in my life.  It was exhausting.  And I failed miserably.

When I was finally so tired of my excuses and even more tired of trying to control everything, I let go.  I realized the only way out of my perpetual cycle of fear was to surrender control, and move forward in faith.  I had to trust in something beyond myself to give me the faith I couldn't muster on my own.

It takes courage to surrender; to trust and have faith; to step beyond what you've known and experienced in the past; to believe you can create something different for yourself.  Ultimately, the faith we learn to have is in ourselves, bolstered by the knowledge that we are not alone.  We do not have to face our fears by ourselves.  We can reach beyond to a higher power greater than what we have and tap into faith.

"Faith equals trust.  Faith offers us hope, and opportunity and promise.  If we choose to live in faith, we will be blessed with the support and the partnership of the universe."-Debbie Ford

Your Assignment:  Ask, where is your faith?  Is it in your fears, or in the belief that you can create your future?

If you had complete faith in yourself and in your future, what would you do differently?

If you knew you could not fail, what would you do?

You deserve to have the best life you can possibly imagine.  The only question is, do you have the faith to step out and create it? 

 

Bring Your Dream to Life- The First 3 Steps

Are you ready to bring your dream to life?

One of my favorite affirmations I give to my clients is, “You walk in the charmed circle of God’s love, and you are divinely irresistible to your highest good now.”

But how often does it ever really feel like we’re living a charmed life?  Sometimes it feels more like we’re running around lost somewhere in the midst of our life.

The endless list of kids, groceries, work, laundry, doctor's appointments, etc., can make it easy to set aside the hopes and dreams we once had for our lives.  We have so many distractions that occupy our time.  But those distractions can start to take a toll on our emotions.  We start resenting the people and things that are distracting us from discovering our true passions in life.

How do you regain that sense of purpose and passion you had when you were just starting out?  Or maybe, as it was for me, you never had the time to actually figure out what your passions and purpose really were in life, because you were too busy just trying to make a living and pay the bills.

As another year unfolds, isn’t it time you started making your dreams come true?  You deserve to be living a life you love.  There’s no time like the present to begin…

Here are the first three steps in starting down the path back to your dreams... or maybe discovering them for the very first time.

1.  Before you can change or create anything new in your life, you have to get clear about what you want and then set your intention on creating it.  Clarity and intention start the process of manifesting your dreams.  Think about what brings you joy.  What do you want more of in your life?  If you had $10,000,000 in the bank, what would you spend your time doing?  Brainstorm for 30 minutes and think of everything you possibly can, and write it down.  Then keep adding to your list.  What do you really love to do?  What are you passionate about?

2. Once you are clear about your desires, and set your intention on bringing those things into your life, it’s time to remove any fears, blocks, or limiting beliefs that may be holding you back from creating what you want in life.  Anything that feels incomplete from our past can prevent us from moving forward.  The process of bringing those things to completion is empowering, and leaves us free to move forward unencumbered.  It’s a beautiful way to make a new commitment to yourself and to your dreams.  Working with a coach or counselor, doing The Work of Byron Katie, or even intensive journaling are all wonderful avenues to learn how to make peace with your past and bring it to completion.

3.  After you've worked through any fears, blocks, or limiting beliefs, you can start taking inspired action.  ‘Inspired’ means it’s an action that makes you feel good.  Here’s an exercise I take my clients through when they’re trying to determine if what they’re considering doing feels inspired.  Clear your mind.  Close your eyes.  Imagine doing what you’re thinking about, and see how it feels in your solar plexus.  Now clear your mind again, think about not doing it or doing something else, and see how that feels in your solar plexus.  One way will inevitably feel much more peaceful, easy, and harmonious, than the other.  Inspired actions always feel more joyful and peaceful than the alternative.

As you go through these steps, you will begin to discover your purpose, find what you're most passionate about in life, and start creating a life you love.  If our passion and purpose aren’t aligned with our actions, we'll falter and stumble around trying to succeed at things that really don't fulfill us or hold meaning for our lives.  How many times do we go after a job or career simply because it allows us to bring home a paycheck, or because we think it’s what we’re ‘supposed’ to do?  I did this for years before I finally figured out that no amount of money from a job I didn't truly love was going to bring me the happiness and fulfillment I was looking for.

Our passions, purpose, and dreams can literally define our lives.  How do you want your life to be defined?

Let it be defined by who you really are, and what you really love.  More than anything else, you deserve to be living a life you love.  Love yourself enough to start creating it today.