what we think we deserve in life. It reminded me
that we also get what we think we deserve in
relationships. See if you agree…
Dogs love bones. Right?
Yes. But what dogs REALLY love is steak.
They settle for bones, because that’s usually all
they can get.
But if you throw out a bone AND a piece of steak,
they will go for the steak every time.
So why do they settle for bones instead of waiting
for steak?
Well, because they’re dogs and not in charge of
their lives.
But WE are not dogs.
Yet how many times do we settle for bones, instead
of waiting for steak?
When I was dating I always tried to stay very
open-minded. I was willing to give any new guy a
chance if I was somewhat attracted to him. That
was a good thing.
The problem was I wasn’t always willing to look
beyond the attraction and see that he didn’t
necessarily have the important qualities I was
looking for in a partner, like commitment or
emotional availability.
I would look for the best and the brightest in a
guy, ignore the things that weren’t working and
try to convince myself that I could live without
the qualities he didn’t have or that maybe things
would change down the line.
If the chemistry was great and I saw a glimmer of
potential in the relationship, I stayed.
Truthfully, it was just easier to be content with
what I had than to venture into being alone again.
And part of me thought, maybe this was the best I
could do.
I would squash any doubts or concerns thinking,
“Well, I can’t look for perfection… he’s got some
good qualities and we have so much chemistry
together that maybe if I just give it more time…”
I rationalized. I made excuses.
Ultimately the relationship would end.
Either I would leave because it became too
draining for me to keep pretending the
relationship was going somewhere when it really
wasn’t. Or, the non-committal man I was seeing
would end it because I felt so insecure I’d become
increasingly needy and dependent.
Ah, the grief, the anguish I would have saved had
I just not been so willing to settle for bones.
But at the time, I wasn’t sure steak even
existed... or if it did, if I really deserved it.
Unfortunately, the Universe can only give us what
we feel we deserve. It simply mirrors what we’re
feeling about ourselves.
When I finally cared enough about myself to honor
what I truly wanted and needed in a partner, AND
believed I deserved it, the Universe responded in
kind and magically brought me the right man.
But first I had to be willing to say NO to what I
knew in my heart wasn’t right for me, so I could
say YES to what was.
I had to stop settling for bones.
If you’ve ever settled for bones, instead of
waiting for steak… here’s what to do.
Have clarity about what you want and what’s truly
important to you. Don’t settle for less thinking
he’s better than no man at all.
This isn’t about looking for perfection. It IS
about waiting for what is perfect for YOU.
There has to be a space in your life for your soul
mate to come in.
Being in a mediocre relationship that doesn’t
fulfill you is just taking up that prime soul mate
space.
If you have settled in the past, then now’s the
time to change.
Look back on some of your previous relationships.
Why they ultimately came to an end?
Were there emotional highs and lows because you
were always guessing about his feelings for you?
Was there a lack of openness and honesty? An
inability to communicate? Perhaps you wanted a
long-term commitment but he didn’t?
The clues that these problems existed were
probably there in the beginning of the
relationship.
For me the warning signs were there, I just chose
not to see them.
You deserve the RIGHT man for you. Be willing to
wait for him and not settle for less.
He is out there. He IS worth waiting for and so
are YOU.
YOU are worth it.
Please remember that.
Until next time,
With love, light and blessings,
Dawn
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