Meet and Marry Mr. Right- Finally Find and Keep the Right Man For You Once and For All- Dawn Allen, Dating and Relationship Advice Expert for Women

Do You Have Your Soul Mate BluePrint?

My daughter just got back from volleyball camp and her weeklong trip to Lake Shasta so we've been spending a lot of time catching up.  I'm happy that at 15 she still wants to occasionally spend time with her mother :-)  And we do have a good time together.

Hard to believe summer has flown by and she'll be starting school towards the end of this month.  Thankfully, she's eager to get back to school and I'm eager to get back to a regular schedule!

In the heat of August, we've done lots of reading and watching movies.  One movie I'm eager to see is "Eat, Pray, Love" because it's such an inspiring story of what can happen with love when we take the journey of self-discovery and awareness.

Knowing who you are and learning about what you want are critical to being able to attract your heart's desire... especially when it comes to love.

So as a continuation of last week's, "Soul Mate 100 List", this week we'll find out about how to build your "Soul Mate BluePrint".

Remember, the Universe really loves clarity and inspired action.  So get clarity with your list and build your blueprint with inspired action and let me know how you do... :-)

And until next time, please remember to love and value yourself and ALL your dreams and desires... because you are worth it.  As one of my most favorite quotes from "Eat Pray Love" says, "You don't need a man.  You need a champion."

Be your own champion first... and that's exactly what you'll attract in a man :-)

Do You Have Your Soul Mate BluePrint?

Have you made your list of 100 things you want in your soul mate... what I like to call your Soul Mate 100 List?

Great! Then you're ready for Step Two in the Sacred Secrets to Love Process. Because you're now probably wondering... how is this guy going to show up? What do I have to do to manifest him now that I know what I want? Will he find me if I just put out my intention to the Universe that I want to attract him?

Well, maybe.

And, maybe not.

Even though we attract everything in life with our thoughts, beliefs, feelings and intentions (and believe me, if THOSE aren't all lined up with what you want, ain't nothin' gonna happen), the Universe LOVES inspired action.

Inspired action lets the Universe KNOW you're serious about manifesting your desires and willing to do whatever it takes. In other words, you are committed to the process.

Now inspired action does not mean you have to go do a bunch of stuff that you hate. Quite the contrary. You may have to push past some fear and resistance to follow through on your inspired action, but you'll still feel the nudge that this is something you need to do, even if it feels a little scary.

But by taking action, even in small pieces, you are letting the Universe know you are READY, even if it means moving past your comfort zone.

So what do you have to do?

Sometimes it's about clearing the path to allow your soul mate in to your life.

Like making sure you are completely free of the past. Making sure you have totally let go of all negative feelings associated with previous relationships. Anger, guilt, remorse or resentment from the past will block the way towards attracting new love into your life.

If you don't clear those feelings first, believe me you'll carry the past right along with you into the future. Not a good starting point for your soul mate relationship.

But what if you're completely clear from the past and KNOW you've prepared the way? What else do you have to do?

Sometimes not anything at all, except live in that place of joyful expectation and anticipation knowing without a doubt that your soul mate IS going to show up in your life. If you truly believe and know that in your heart, it can happen without you're doing anything else.

But if you get an inner nudge or guidance to do something, you have to be willing to do it. Your willingness to take action is an indication to the Universe that you are clear and ready to do what is needed to attract the love of your life.

But the actions you take will feel inspired.

So how do you know what inspired action to take?

Here's what to do (and this is from one of my most favorite teachers, Abraham-Hicks):

1. Begin by getting into a really 'feeling good' kind of place. You can't manifest anything from a place of need, desperation, fear or anger (except to manifest more of the same). Your attracting abilities are at their highest when you're in a state of love and joy, so do whatever you need to do to get into a happy state of mind.

2. Now close your eyes (or look at your vision board if you have one) and visualize having your soul mate in your life. What will your life be like? Years ago when I first started dating my husband, every night before I went to sleep, I'd visualize us getting married on a beach in Hawaii. Just the two of us on a very secluded beach. A few years later that is EXACTLY what happened. Although we discussed having a big wedding with our friends and family, it ended up being just the two of us on a private beach in Hawaii with a minister. It wasn't until after we had been married for a few weeks that I realized I had visualized our exact wedding years before.

3. Hold this vision of you and your soul mate together. Really get into the feeling of what it's going to be like when you him and have this relationship you've been dreaming of. Visualize as many details as you possibly can and feel it as if it was happening right now.

4. If you can maintain these feelings of what it would be like to live your vision for at least 68 seconds, you will have put the manifestation process into effect. That's it. Just 68 seconds and you're off and running to your heart's desire. And the longer you can hold the feelings of experiencing this vision as if it were already here, the faster it will manifest for you.

5. Here's the key to inspired action... after doing your visualization, if you'll ask, "Is there some action I need to take to bring this into my reality?"... and then listen very clearly for the answer you'll know what, if anything, you need to do. But you have to be open to whatever the answer may be and willing to take action.

So that's it for your Soul Mate BluePrint Lesson. What will your inspired actions look like?

Boundaries- They Help You Take a Stand for Your Life & Here's How...

Wow, I had such a great weekend away, but the only problem with going away sometimes?

It’s non-stop action when you get home!  Especially with a 15-year-old-hanging-out-at-home-because-I-can’t-get-a-job-or-drive-yet around.  My lovely structured schedule of work has somehow flown out the window.  Time to put some boundaries back in place :-)

An interesting happens when we start to honor ourselves and put healthy boundaries in place in our relationships.  Sometimes (very often, actually), all hell breaks loose initially from the loud screams of our loved ones, friends or anyone else who is trying to suck our energy away.  This is exactly what happened to me recently (see article below :-).

But something else happens after the initial shock subsides and we prove to the Universe that we really are committed to honoring our time, energy and feelings… magical things start to unfold.

So, in honor of the magical things that have started to happen to me as a result of learning how to create space for myself (my version of ‘boundaries’ since it feels less constricting), I am restructuring my business.

Some of you have mentioned that you would like to work with me privately, but either can’t afford a monthly coaching program or simply aren’t ready to make that kind of financial commitment.

In response, I am now offering individual, 45-minute coaching sessions and the investment for you is just $97.

I’m really excited about this new offering, because it gives me an opportunity to work with more of you more often.  I’ll also have additional time to spend creating books, products and other programs that will support you even more, which I’m eager to do.

If you’re interested in scheduling an individual private session with me, just email dawn@inspiredheartcoaching.com.

And please make sure you read my article today… learning how to honor and value ourselves is paramount not just in attracting the right partner, but in sustaining a magical relationship as well.

But it starts with YOU loving yourself first.

Here’s to a magical and self-honoring week ahead for you…

************************************************

“BOUNDARIES!” Nadia screamed at me in her heavy Eastern European accent.  “You have GOT to learn how to have boundaries or you will never achieve the kind of success you are meant to have in this world.  You have GOT to learn how to say NO in a healthy way, especially to those closest to you and those who are trying to take advantage of your time and energy…”

Okay, Nadia, I get it.  I’ve got to have boundaries.

Nadia is one of the most brilliant people I have ever had the pleasure of working with.

Who is she?

Nadia Tumas is an incredibly gifted and talented hand analyst and life purpose coach.  She recently did a hand analysis for me and helped me discover some pretty amazing things about myself and my life.

Nadia, however, does not mince words.  She cautioned me at the beginning of our session that she ‘tells it like she sees it’ so to speak (according to our hands) and does not hold back from saying the truth that we may not like, but that we need to hear.

I took a deep breath and told her to go for it.  I was ready to hear everything she had to say.

As Nadia proceeded to describe in detail all the positive and not-so-positive aspects of my personality (all of which were unbelievably accurate), she also explained what I needed to do in order to really fulfill my life purpose and potential, which according to her was that of being a successful leading mentor in the spotlight with a message of love for the world.

“Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries,” she kept saying repeatedly.  “Learn to have boundaries or else…”

Okay, so boundaries and saying no to people have never been my strong suit.

It’s much easier for me to say yes and give in to other people’s requests.

The problem with that, of course, is that I end up sacrificing huge amounts of time and energy to things and people that aren’t necessarily supporting my life goals.

It’s not their fault.  They’re just asking.  And people should always feel free to ask.  Or at least I want them to always feel free to ask.
But I should also feel free to say no… and I don’t always feel that way.

There’s a part of me deep down that struggles with saying no to people out of fear of rejection.

And not feeling good enough or worthy enough to put a priority on myself, my feelings and my time.

This has shown up for me time and time again in my life... in my work, in my relationships, in everything.

But in my desire to serve others, I was getting left out.  My needs and desires were getting pushed to the side over and over and over again.

And how can we ever truly serve others if we’re not first serving ourselves?

Eventually we just run out of steam.  Our energy runs dry.

Nadia pointed out to me that my hands were screaming out for help.  My over-giving and self-sacrifice in some of my relationships was leaving me with nothing left to support myself.

How could I move forward in life if I had no energy left for my goals and dreams?

The well was about to run dry.

I looked up at the Mission Statement I had written for my life the year I started coaching five years ago…

I am here to teach love & that we might all know we are loved. 
The path of Spirit is right where we are & our connection to Spirit is there all the time.
Walk down your path & know that you are loved & perfect the way you are.
The answer to everything on this path is love.

But was I really loving myself?

Was I honoring my own Path?

Not so much.

So that day, on the phone with Nadia, I made the commitment that I would start creating space for myself and having healthy boundaries in place in all my relationships.

Honest to goodness no sooner did I get off the phone with Nadia and the first person to call me was my ex-husband, who I’ve had continuing boundary issues with during our entire relationship, but particularly so since we got divorced.

I’m thinking to myself as I’m listening to him… You have GOT to be kidding me?  Really?  Really?   Must I be tested on my commitment to this already?!!!

Can’t I even get a little break or semi-hiatus out of acknowledgment for having made this commitment?

No, I guess not.  Because the first thing my dear ex-husband did was launch into a rendition of “I want you to do this for me…”  And it happened to be something I had already said No to in the past and which he continued to try and guilt me into doing.

And normally, I would have given in… just to done with it.  Even though it wasn’t what I wanted to do.

But Nadia’s voice kept nagging at me in the back of my head… boundaries, boundaries, boundaries.

So… tuh-dah!  I said No for the first time.  I had to say it about 5 different times, 5 different ways and then again in about 4 different emails.  But I stuck to it and kept saying it from a place of love, not anger.

Because when I thought about it, it wasn’t his fault.  I had never shown him anything different other than being someone who would give in… generally out of fear of rejection or anger.

And this No was coming from a place of love for myself… and therefore a place of love for him too.

I just needed to show him a different interaction in our relationship.  One where I was now going to honor my feelings and say no to requests that didn’t feel right.

It took awhile, but he finally got it.  Amazingly, the final communication between us ended from a very loving place for both of us.  That was a first.  And believe me, it did feel like magic.

I hate to say it, but retraining the people in our lives that we want/need/expect to be treated differently, is a lot like retraining dogs.

We don’t have to get mad at a dog for not understanding our new requests.  We just have to be consistent and persistent in what we’re teaching them to do and how we’re training them to treat us.

And we do teach the people in our lives how to treat us.  That is our responsibility, not theirs.

We have to take a stand for ourselves.  But first we have to love ourselves enough to take that stand.

Love yourself enough to take a stand for your life… with everyone in your life.

3 Clues to Creating Magic in Your Life

Have you ever had one of those weeks where everything just felt magical?

I had one of those last week. You can read more about it in my article below and what I learned about how to consciously create magic in your life instead of just waiting for it to happen accidentally like I did :-)

I am honored, greatly honored, to now be featured on Arielle Ford's website, SoulMateSecret.com, as a referral coach. I am thrilled beyond belief to have this amazing opportunity and the way it literally dropped into my lap is what inspired my article.

I am proudly offering Arielle's Soul Mate Kit and I received Arielle's permission and support to create a new coaching program around the Soul Mate Kit. I couldn't be more excited!

I'm off today to enjoy some glorious spring weather we're having here in Southern Oregon after weeks of cold and rain... the sun is out and the flowers are blooming.

A very dear and wonderful client from Denmark (Thank you, Tine!) sent me this beautiful photograph as a 'thank you' after a coaching session we had this week.
It reminded me of all the magic that exists in our world that can be so easy to overlook sometimes when I get too busy to stop and appreciate it.

My wish for you this week is that you'll remember to look for all the magic that exists in your beautiful world.

And my every day be filled with an abundance of all the love you so deserve.

Feature Article

"3 Clues to Creating Magic in Your Life"

 

I admit it, I have been working like crazy lately.

Since I really love what I do, that's not hard to do. But I have felt like I have been needing to get away for months and just haven't taken the time.

So when the wonderful friend invited me away for the weekend, I took advantage of it. I completely disengaged, relaxed in a beautiful hotel and enjoyed a fabulous weekend for three lovely days.

I got home feeling completely reenergized.

Creating Magic Clue #1: Taking breaks and getting away can have a profoundly positive effect on your energy!

The week after I got home, I had agreed to an interview with Renee Heimerman for her A Bundle of Joy Teleseminar, but I had inadvertently scheduled it for the wrong day on my calendar. I was completely surprised when the email reminder arrived an hour before the teleclass was scheduled to start!

Thankfully I was able to rearrange my schedule and it ended up being one of the best interviews I've done for a long time (you can listen in if you like by clicking here). I finished the interview feeling so appreciative for being able to do what I do.

Creating Magic Clue #2: Sometimes going with the flow, not resisting what 'is' and trusting what the Universe brings to you, allows even more good to flow to you.
A few hours after my interview, I received a personal email from Arielle Ford, creator of the Soul Mate Kit, and one of my most favorite authors.

Arielle said that one of my clients, Lynn Fletcher (you can read her testimonial below) had shared her story of how she found her soul mate, which she attributed to going through Arielle's Soul Mate Kit and her coaching with me.

Lynn had spoken so highly of her work with me that Arielle asked if I would be a referral coach for her, since she doesn't do any private coaching.

After doing the Snoopy-Happy-Dog-Dance around my house, I wrote back that I'd of course be thrilled and honored. We spoke in person shortly thereafter and she gave me her permission to create an exclusive new coaching program around the Soul Mate Kit.

To say I was thrilled, grateful and appreciative for the opportunity to work with her would be an understatement.

Creating Magic Clue #3: Expressing joy and appreciation for what the Universe brings to you and asking for what you want (I asked if I could create the coaching program) brings even more for you to appreciate.

So here are my 3 tips for you to start creating magic in your life:

1.  Take a break and go do something you love when you're feeling stressed or overwhelmed

2.  Don't resist what happens or what you're feeling, but instead try and shift your perception to trusting that it's exactly what is supposed to be happening for your benefit

3.  Express love, joy and appreciation for as many things, people and events in your life as you possibly can... because the more you do, the more the Universe will bring you even more to love and appreciate

I wish for you as many magical moments as you can take in this week. And if you'd like some support in creating magic in your life, I'm happy to help you on the journey.

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” - Buddha

 

Copyright 2010 Dawn Allen

How to Reinvent Your World...

Have you ever thought about the possibilities of reinventing your world?

George Bernard Shaw once said, “Progress is impossible without change; and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.”

So what if we changed our minds about what’s possible for ourselves and our future?

What if by changing our perception of ‘what is’, we were also able to change our perception of ‘what can be…’

One of the things I love most about working with my clients is that I can hold a bigger vision for them than they can see for themselves.  And by having someone who holds that vision for them, it inspires them to create even more than they ever thought possible.

How cool is that?

And my coaches have done the same for me.

But what I’ve sometimes found is that it is very often my own limiting beliefs about the past that get in the way of creating my future.

Why is that?

Because there is a part of me that thinks I’m still that same person I was in the past and therefore, hindered by the same mistakes I made in the past.

Then one day my mentor, who is a multiple 7-figure coach and I figure knows what the heck she’s talking about, said to me, “You are not the same person today as you were in the past when you made those choices and those decisions and attracted those experiences.  Why would you think that your future would be based on your past?”

Huh… go figure.  I can tell this stuff to my clients all day long, but I still can’t always see it for myself.

And of course, she was right.  I am different.  I have grown.  I have changed.  I make different decisions today because I know more.  And heaven knows, I certainly attract different experiences than I did in the past… because we attract what we are and it’s always congruent with our beliefs about who we are.

So, I made the executive decision that day as the major shareholder in “Dawn Allen, Inc.” to overwrite my old self-image and instead to work with one of my choosing. 

And I would encourage you to do the same.

I decided to expand my beliefs about what’s possible for my future.  Not based on the past.  But instead, based on what I truly desire.  Knowing that God never gives us a dream or desire without the capacity to make it come true.

So what about you?

Is there a difficult situation in your life that has challenged you in the past?

Could you change your perception to view it as having been there to benefit you in some way?

It has been a life-changing decision for me to shift my perception to see every challenge as a means to bringing me greater self-awareness and an opportunity for self-growth.

It has also allowed me to expand my belief of what’s possible for my future.

Now, instead of looking back and seeing myself as powerless or blaming myself (or worse, someone else!) for seeming failure, I have chosen to view those circumstances as benefiting me by helping me to grow, to become more of who I am.

One of my favorite things to tell my clients is it’s not the easy stuff that makes us grow, it’s those difficult, challenging, “Oh-my-gosh-why-is-this-happening-to-me?” moments when we really get to see how strong we are, how capable we are, how much more we can survive than we ever thought possible.

Those are the times that show us who we are and what we’re made of.

And those are the times when we have a choice… we can choose to see ourselves as victims of fate, unable to choose our destinies. 

Or we can chalk it up to being an AFGO (Another Freakin’ Growth Opportunity) in this beautiful mosaic we call life.

But it is a mosaic you get to create and call your own.

Make it one you love.

And make it as brilliant, bright and shining… as you are.

Taking Things Personally? Here's How to Stop... :-)

Okay, I admit it.  I still have times when I struggle to NOT take things personally.

Which means, of course, that, yes, even though I know better, I still have those moments when I DO take things personally.

Ugh.

There’s a wonderful quote from Dr. Patricia Allen, that brings me some reprieve…

“We are all broken in one way or another, and we must learn to accept the broken aspect in order to love.”

Not just in order to love another, but in order to love ourselves too.

I’ve noticed that when I’m feeling frustrated or angry, I tend to start judging myself I start thinking, "I shouldn't feel this way."

But the more I judge myself for what I’m feeling, the more contracted I feel, and the more I shut down.

What we resist persists.

The more I try to force myself into feeling better, the more I try to jump to the nearest distraction to avoid the feeling altogether or I just beat myself up for feeling this way to begin with.

The biggest challenge is letting go of the judgment about what I’m feeling, so…

I decided to try a new tactic.

What if... when I felt contracted, I simply took it as a sign from the Universe that it's a time to take care of myself, to not make any big decisions, and to just allow myself to 'be'?

What if... I accepted what I’m feeling and didn't judge it to be good or bad, right or wrong, but just what 'is' for the moment?

What if… I just gave myself permission to feel what I’m feeling and to just let it be okay?

I discovered something…the emotional relief is immediate.

When I judge and resist what I’m feeling, I never really get the chance to move beyond the feelings, by allowing them to move through me.

I might be able to force them into hiding for awhile, but eventually they start popping up in one form or another...

I get sick, want to eat everything in sight, react to my daughter’s moods, (she’s 15, it’s her job to be moody) go through the day with no energy, and wade through sleepless nights…

So how does all this relate to learning how to NOT take things personally?

Something interesting happened when I learned how to stop judging myself and my feelings…

I learned how to stop judging other people’s feelings and to stop taking them personally… especially my partner’s.

Don’t get me wrong, I still have to remind myself DAILY.

But it gets easier all the time.

And it’s easier to communicate from a place of understanding, rather than my old patterns of shutting down or having a huge emotional reaction.

I’ll leave you with one final quote from two of my favorite teachers, Janet & Chris Attwood…

“When I can be okay with the contraction in myself, I can accept the contraction in people around me.  When I'm okay with both, then my life is simply a life lived in love."

Here's to a life lived in love for you and all those you hold dear.

Give yourself the love and acceptance you so deserve :-)

Until next time,

With all my love,

Dawn

Are You A People Pleaser too?

I have a confession.

 

I am, by nature, a people

pleaser.

 

It’s one of the reasons I love

what I do so much.  I get to

help make people happy.

 

Wanting to make my

clients happy is a valuable

personality trait when it comes

to business.

 

Not so much when it comes to

personal relationships.

 

I learned that lesson today

along with a huge revelation.

 

Wanting to make

everyone happy in personal

relationships very often comes

with the high price of self-sacrifice.

 

Self-sacrifice is NOT a valuable

personality trait in relationships.

 

In fact, it can result in the

build-up of resentment,

anger, guilt and the deterioration

of love both for ourselves and others.

 

So, how did I so brilliantly learn this

lesson and have this huge revelation?

 

I didn’t.  My wonderful and very wise

boyfriend pointed it out to me.

 

I was struggling on how to handle

a situation with my daughter’s father.

 

He had sent me a snotty

email trying to make me feel

guilty for not forcing my daughter

to contact him.

 

Since this was coming from a man

who chose not to participate in my

daughter’s life in any way for over

fourteen years and she’s only fifteen,

his attitude really upset me.

 

Up until this time, I have tried to

be incredibly kind and understanding

to him, even though he shirked

all responsibility to my daughter

for years.

 

I responded to his email with a few

very pointed comments of how I felt

about his expectations

and his total lack of caring and

responsibility towards my daughter.

 

But then I started to feel guilty.

 

My people-pleasing instincts kicked

in and I felt like I should try to do

something to make him

feel better.

 

Maybe I was a bit too harsh.

Maybe I shouldn’t have been quite

so blunt and honest in my email.

 

Maybe I should have been even more

understanding… again.

 

I called my boyfriend, who was a

single parent for many years, and asked

for a second opinion.

 

He very patiently pointed out to me

that it wasn’t my job to make EVERYONE

happy, least of all someone who had

created his own predicament by his

own actions… or rather lack of actions.

 

Wow.  Really?

What a revelation.

 

He further supported me in having

expressed my long-hidden feelings by

telling the truth in my email to my daughter's

father.  In my boyfriend’s words, the ball

was in his court.

 

And now I needed to let it go.

 

Just let go and NOT try and try

and try to make everyone happy?

 

Wow.  Really?

What a revelation.

 

But you know what?

He’s right.

It’s not my job.

 

It IS my job to make sure my

clients are happy.  And I will bend

over backwards to make sure they

are.  I love my clients and I love what

I do.

 

But trying to always

make everyone happy in our personal

life will generally constitute some form

of self-sacrifice, and it is impossible

to make anyone else happy if we

ourselves aren’t happy.

 

Sacrificing ourselves, our feelings,

our self-respect, our honesty, is a

sure-fire route to unhappiness.

 

Funny, I tell my clients that all the time.

 

I guess it was time I took my own advice and

learned that lesson first-hand.

 

My advice?  Make yourself happy

first, then worry about everyone else.

 

There are times when it is simply

NOT your job to make others happy,

no matter how guilty they may try to

make you feel.

 

Put the ball back in their court.

 

And then let go.  We all create

our own realities and sometimes we

just need to let other people live out their

own.

 

Then you can focus on creating yours

just the way you want it, without

sacrificing anything :-)

 

Until next time,

 

With all my love,

Dawn

 

 

Dawn Allen, M.S.

Love & Law of Attraction Coach

Certified Dream Coach

Certified Passion Test Facilitator

dawn@inspiredheartcoaching.com

541.608.0508

http://www.InspiredHeartCoaching.com

 

 

 

 

Past Relationships- How to release them so you can step into the future

Have you ever been in a relationship where you felt like no matter what you did or what you said, you were still attached to the person you were trying to leave behind?

Been there.  The last time, after I had exhausted all my resources for doing everything I knew to let go of the past, a very powerful visualization came to me one morning while I was meditating.

While I was going through this process, I wanted to feel like I was letting go of the past in a peaceful and harmonious way.

I wanted to feel like I was moving towards something I wanted rather than away from something I didn't want.

I've had a quite a few clients recently who were in the same place... needing and wanting to move on from the past, but not knowing how.   

This visualization worked so well for me, I now take all my clients through it as well, and I wanted to share it with you...

Feel free to pass it on if you know anyone who might be needing to leave the past behind, because until we fully complete and release our past relationships, we will continue to carry our emotional baggage into the future.

Take your time with this meditation and do it as often as necessary until you feel a sense of completion.

Find a comfortable place to sit and relax.

Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths.

Allow your awareness to rest gently on your heart.

Visualize yourself standing someplace quiet and peaceful.

Now visualize the person you would like to release from the past standing across from you.

You are each holding one end of a cord that runs between you.

This cord represents your attachment to each other and the energetic connection of your relationship.

You can visualize this cord as a golden rope of light, or a piece of heavy white cord, whatever feels right

for you.

Take a few minutes to tell this person anything you need to say to feel complete with the relationship.

You are speaking to this person’s higher self, so whatever you say will be understood.

Visualize them being appreciative of your telling them how you feel and accepting of anything you have to say.

When you feel complete, lovingly tell this person good-bye and thank them for everything you learned

while you were with them.

Very gently set your end of the cord that you were holding down on the ground.  By setting down your end of the cord, you have released your attachment to this person and the relationship completely.

There is no longer any energetic connection between you. 

You can visualize them setting down their end of the cord, or perhaps they have chosen to hang on to their end of the cord, whatever they choose to do in your visualization is fine.

But since you have set down your end of the cord, you are now free of your connection to the past.

Once you have said good-bye and set down the cord, visualize yourself turning and walking towards a beautiful, white light.

Within this beautiful white light is everything you now want to manifest in your life… all your dreams, goals, and desires.

Now that you have released and let go of the past, you are free to walk into this light and know that

everything is there waiting for you.

Your only job now is to feel what it’s like to be surrounded by everything you desire; your dreams are there waiting for you, you just need to open your arms and let them into your life.

The only thing that was holding you back was your attachment to the past.

Now that you’ve let that go, you are free to receive all the good waiting for you now and in the future.

Spend some time thinking about everything that this beautiful white light holds for you.

Write it all down… your ideal relationship and partner, your ideal career and financial resources, your ideal home life, your physical health and well-being.

Tap into the experience of what it would feel like to be living in your ideal life.

Place your hand over your heart and anchor those feelings of joy, happiness, peace, love, success, prosperity... whatever feelings represent your ideal life for you. 

Anytime you start to feel worried, doubtful or insecure, go back to this meditation and visualize yourself again gently putting down the cord to the past and walking towards the light of everything you want in your life.

Every time you do this visualization, you will be freeing yourself more and more from the past, and strengthening your connection to the future, your desires and effortlessly attracting them into your life.

I'd love to hear from you, and as always, if I can support you in any way, please let me know.

Until next time...

With love light and blessings,

Dawn

 

Dawn Allen, M.S.

Love & Law of Attraction Coach

Certified Dream Coach

Certified Passion Test Facilitator

541.608.0508

http://www.InspiredHeartCoaching.com

dawn@inspiredheartcoaching.com

Relationship Fears- Now that my house has burned down...

 There’s wonderful Zen maxim that says, “Now that my house has burned down, I have a much better view of the sky.”

It made me laugh out loud the first time I read it.

Then I started to think about how well it described something that happened not long ago in my relationship with the man I’m involved with.

Our relationship was going along wonderfully.

Then something between us changed.

At the time, I couldn’t really put my finger on what it was.

But I started feeling insecure and fearful.

Looking back, I now see it was because I was becoming very attached to the outcome of our relationship and had some pretty clear expectations.

Even coaches make mistakes. :-)

And, of course, my greatest fear was realized shortly thereafter. 

The man I was involved with stopped calling.  Big surprise.

We attract what we think about and what we’re feeling, good or bad, right or wrong, that’s just the way it is.

Days ticked by and I had no idea what had happened other than it had felt awkward the last time we had seen each other.

I was confused.

Over the next couple of weeks, I did a lot of soul searching, letting go and finally came to a place of peace

about what felt like the end of our relationship.

I eventually sent him a very short email saying I hoped he was well and that perhaps the next time he was out he could drop off the dishes I had given him from the last time I made him dinner.

He emailed me back almost immediately saying not only did he want to deliver my dishes, but he really wanted to talk to me in person, if I was open to it.

I agreed, although I felt slightly nervous about seeing him again after basically no contact for 2 ½ weeks.

I decided to let go of any expectations and let him take the lead with everything.

He came over that same night and as soon I saw him, I completely relaxed, because he was clearly happy to see me.

He took me out for a drink, and we chatted about everything we’d been doing over the last couple of weeks.  Nothing serious.

After he brought me home, he asked if we could talk, because he really wanted to explain what had happened over the last couple of weeks.

For the next hour, he tried to put into words why he hadn’t called me.  He admitted he didn’t really understand why he hadn’t been in touch, because he really enjoyed being with me.

He said things just started to feel different.  He was right.

Our fears and expectations about the relationship were making us both feel uncomfortable and uneasy, we

just didn’t realize it at the time.

He said there was a part of him that felt like he needed to know all the answers about our future, and because he didn’t, he withdrew.

I told him not only did he not need to know all the answers, but that I was happy to just be with him now.

We both relaxed and by letting go of our expectations, we were able to communicate freely with each other.

He mentioned that before what we now refer to as The Break in our relationship, it felt like there was a

sense of urgency.  Very true.

All the unspoken expectations we had and projections about the future not only created a sense of urgency, but brought up all our fears and insecurities as well, mine especially.

But once ‘the house burned down,’ and all the fears were brought to light, we were able to release them so we could have a ‘better view of the sky’ and relax into just enjoying each other and our wonderful relationship now, instead of being so focused on what was or wasn’t going to happen in the future.

I have a new appreciation for him that wasn’t there before.

And even though, I’m more in love with him than I ever was, I’m no longer projecting into the future and trying to figure everything out.

And neither is he.

We are completely happy to be together and allow things to unfold, trusting that fate brought us back together for a reason.

He jokingly says I should advise all my clients to take a 2 ½ week break in their relationships so they can come back together with a renewed appreciation for each other. :-)

Hmmmm.  Maybe.

My wish for you is that your house won’t ever have to burn down in order for you to have a better view of the sky.

Release your fears.

Trust the Universe.

Enjoy the present.

And relax into well-being.

 

Until next time...

With love, light and blessings,

Dawn

Love- Are Your Perceptions Hiding A Gift of Love?

I recently learned a valuable lesson about how our perceptions can lead us to misinterpreting events and profoundly affect our relationships. 

     

Not long ago, a dear friend of mine was away on a trip visiting his parents.  His parents are elderly, so he spends most of his time taking care of them when he’s with them.  His siblings have the caretaking responsibility when he’s not there.  He and his mother love to go shopping when he visits.  On this last trip, he called me when they were shopping for clothes to find out what size I wore.  I was excited to see what he bought. 

After he got home, I didn’t hear from him right away, which initially I didn’t give much thought to.  He had been swamped with work right before he left, and since he’s self-employed, the work doesn’t get done unless he’s home to do it.

As a few days passed, I started to wonder why he hadn’t contacted me.  All kinds of thoughts ran through my head.  Was he upset with me for some reason?  Had I done something wrong?  Trying to figure out all the possible reasons of why he hadn’t yet called just made me feel worse.

I finally mentioned what was happening to my mother and told her how I was feeling.  My brilliant seventy-five year old mother, who is my greatest coach, told me to refocus my attention and energy back on my own life, and let go of wondering what was going on with him. 

My mom reassured me that he’d obviously been thinking about me or he wouldn’t have been buying me clothes while he was away.  She also reminded me how painful it is to visit parents you haven’t seen for months, and see their physical and mental health rapidly declining.  It takes time to regain your emotional equilibrium after such a stressful and challenging trip.

Listening to her talk, I suddenly viewed everything from a completely different perspective.  I felt a huge sense of compassion.  The trips to visit his parents had become increasingly difficult for my friend.  I had not even considered all these other aspects to the story, and the way we interpret events are indeed our stories.

The hurt and rejection I’d been feeling disappeared as I hung up the phone with my mother.  I wrote a short email to my friend letting him know I was thinking about him and hoped he was well.

He contacted me the following day.  He said he’d been working non-stop ever since he got home.  He was still overwhelmed with work, but asked if I’d like to come over that evening, so we could dance and go for a motorcycle ride together.  As soon as I got there, he handed me a present wrapped in green paper with a red bow.  It felt like Christmas.  Neatly folded inside were the clothes he had bought for me while he was away, and some others he had purchased after he came home. 

All the thoughts and feelings I’d had when he first returned from his trip seemed immaterial.  The pain and suffering I’d put myself through were a result of my initial perspective and how I had interpreted not hearing from him.

When I changed my perspective, and was able to see the situation from a different point of view, my interpretation of what happened changed too.  Instead of hurt and anger, my feelings shifted to love and compassion.  That shift opened the door to a positive response from my friend.

When we’re feeling stuck in our pain, it is invaluable to be able to step back from our perceived point of view and see events and circumstances through someone else’s eyes. A negative, painful interpretation can shift to a more loving and positive one simply by changing your perspective.

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Your Assignment:  Take a look how you interpret events and circumstances that happen.  Explore these ideas in a journal, and you’ll gain clarity, objectivity, and perhaps a new perspective on the people and events in your life. 

Seeing events through another person’s eyes is not only a gift to them, but also a loving gift to yourself. You are giving yourself the power of choice to reinterpret painful events, and instead choose to create a life of love for yourself.

Fear- Is Your Faith In Your Fear or Your Future?

My daughter started cheerleading practice this week.  The team appointed her their flyer.  She'll be the one that climbs to the top of the formations as all the other girls support her.  She had to push through her initial fears to trust that the other girls would be there to support her standing on their shoulders, and then to catch her when she jumped off.

It reminded me of how many times my own fears have kept me stuck.  Fear kept me trapped in the past.  Fear of the unknown, fear of rejection, and fear of abandonment kept me repeating old patterns and behaviors in my relationships and in my life for years.

The fearful questions would run endlessly through my head.  What if I end this relationship and find out it was as good as it gets?  What if I'm not good enough?  What if I get hurt?  What if I try and then fail?  I had more faith in my negative beliefs and fear of repeating the past, than I did in new possibilities for my future. 

I had no clue that fears were actually running my life.  Anger, worry, resentment, and insecurity showed up on the outside, but underneath everything was fear.  My way of dealing with it was to try to control everything and everyone in my life.  It was exhausting.  And I failed miserably.

When I was finally so tired of my excuses and even more tired of trying to control everything, I let go.  I realized the only way out of my perpetual cycle of fear was to surrender control, and move forward in faith.  I had to trust in something beyond myself to give me the faith I couldn't muster on my own.

It takes courage to surrender; to trust and have faith; to step beyond what you've known and experienced in the past; to believe you can create something different for yourself.  Ultimately, the faith we learn to have is in ourselves, bolstered by the knowledge that we are not alone.  We do not have to face our fears by ourselves.  We can reach beyond to a higher power greater than what we have and tap into faith.

"Faith equals trust.  Faith offers us hope, and opportunity and promise.  If we choose to live in faith, we will be blessed with the support and the partnership of the universe."-Debbie Ford

Your Assignment:  Ask, where is your faith?  Is it in your fears, or in the belief that you can create your future?

If you had complete faith in yourself and in your future, what would you do differently?

If you knew you could not fail, what would you do?

You deserve to have the best life you can possibly imagine.  The only question is, do you have the faith to step out and create it?