What Is Your Life Reflecting Back To You?

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A few years ago, I read a story about Deepak Chopra in Joe Vitale's book, The Key, that left a huge impact on me. In his seminars and books, Deepak talks about all of life being a mirror and constantly reflecting back our own beliefs. If there are elements in another person that really anger or upset you, most likely, those are the same elements you have in yourself that you don't like.

In this story, Deepak was talking about a woman who came up to him at one of his seminars and really pushed his buttons. He thought this woman was rude, impatient, and obnoxious. He had a whole list of things.

Later he thought, Wait a minute, I should take my own teachings to heart. So he wrote down all the elements that he saw in the other person he didnt like. Then he called his publicist and said, Im going to read a list of these traits to you, and I want you to tell me if I have these. He listed them all, like obnoxious, rude, and impatient. He went through the whole list, and he said the other side of the phone was dead quiet for a long time. He thought, "Oh, no," and he decided to check with his wife.

He then read the same list to her. The silence on the other side of the phone was even longer this time than it had been with his publicist. The point being those elements he didn't like in the other person were the ones that he didn't like in himself.

After reading this story, I made a list of all the things that were triggering reactions in me about my ex-husband. I discovered the judgments and beliefs I was carrying around towards him were mirroring the beliefs I actually had about myself.

I blamed him for being unsupportive and critical of me, for not believing in me, for not caring about my happiness or success. But the truth was, deep down not only was I was not supportive of him, I was not supportive of myself. I didnt believe in myself. I wasn't committed to my own happiness or success. I didnt believe I deserved anything better.

I was so busy trying to jump around and make everyone else happy I lost myself in the process. Underneath all the anger and blame I directed towards others, I was deeply critical and angry with myself for not taking a stand for my own happiness and fulfillment. My life mirrored my lack of belief in myself.

I attached my self-worth and self-esteem to things, people, and circumstances outside myself. Rather than trusting and believing in myself, I was always looking for answers in yet another book, another degree, the next new seminar, or in my relationship with another person.

It wasn't until I discovered what was underneath my reactions to other people, that I was able to take responsibility for all the parts of myself I had disowned. Doing so not only transformed me, but all my relationships as well.

In The Dark Side of the Light Chasers, Debbie Ford said When we are willing to open our hearts to all that exists, and start looking for the good rather than the bad in everything, we will see God. We will see love. Remembering we are the ones choosing what we see is essential. On some level, we ask for all the lessons we learn in this lifetime. Every incident, no matter how horrible, has a gift for you. And if you get your gift then I will get mine, for I am you and you are me in the world of the spirit.

Your Assignment: Look at an aspect of someone that triggers an emotional reaction in you. Is there any place where you might have that same quality?

Is there something that you dislike in other people that you might also dislike in yourself? If that part of you had a potential gift to share, what would it be? What could it be here to teach you?

Only by accepting ourselves without judgment and blame can we uncover all the gifts we have to share with the world. Love all aspects of yourself fully. Your life and everyone in it will reflect back that same love.

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If you would like support in moving past the beliefs that are holding you back from living a life you love, send me an email.  When you don't have to do it all yourself, all things are possible for you.  We will work together to transform your pain into power; move beyond fear, resentment and other sabotaging emotions; rebuild your self-respect, self-confidence, and self-love to healing; and reinventing your life filled with love and inspiration.

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